Kriston � your support and kindness go such a long way. Thank you.
I think I�m more on autopilot and less on being together. I started seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist recently to help with my coping skills and maintaining perspective. Sometimes the shades of gray become indistinguishable, and I have a hard time knowing what�s normal v. not normal (DH�s behavior). DH is too clever and, as a result, I miss things that would have helped had I been able to recognize them sooner. I�m sorry if this doesn�t make sense (see �scattered� above).
I�m amazed at what women (esp. mothers) can withstand in an effort to support their families. I feel a little selfish implying woe is me who juggles DH�s BP, strong-willed DS2, and law school. Thanks for letting me vent.
Ann,
I know just what you mean by the scattered. I'm so glad that you are getting support, and want to suggest an additional source of support that has helped me as the 'scattered' or 'sidetracked' family leader help both myself and my son, who really needs 'beauty and order' even more than the average kid.
I know that this isn't for everyone - nothing is, but I encourage you to go to this link,
http://flylady.net/pages/begin_babysteps.aspand just do what it says.
It will probably sound trivial and stupid. I think that's a great way for you to get insight into what 'group therapy' is like for your husband. Too often, we smart people don't like to 'just follow the directions and do it' until we are convinsed that the whole program 'makes sense.' I promise promise promise that I'm not asking you to do anything MORE than what you are doing already - using these method actually makes living easier and more fun.
If your husband's work environment contributed to his disease becoming active, than isn't it also perhaps true that an unusually orderly environment will contribute to his becoming more healthy? No, you aren't responsible for his disease or his recovery, there is really very little that you can actually do, but since you are the only one who can do the role of family organizer for your family right now - why not do it with support?
At the very least, if a friend comes over and offers to help out, you'll have some ideas of what to ask for! I often ask friends to sit with me while a 'go through' a pile of papers that feel overwhelming to me, or fold a pile of laundry, or wash a pile of dishes. Luckily I have many fewer piles these days, and I'm a much happier person. Growing up 'in my head' as I did, I seem to have missed some basic instruction in the 'art of living' that Flylady has taught me - one babystep at a time.
It's not a book, It's not (usually) about Bipolar or Gifted, but Flylady's website has sure helped me step up to the plate and take on the job of 'family organizer' which I always had anyway, even though I didn't volunteer for it.
Best Wishes,
Grinity
