My favorite book to help DS with friendships was
Friends Forever: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make and Keep Good Friends [Paperback]
Fred Frankel (Author)
I'm not sure if it goes into depth with the 'little girl thing' that seems so inevitable but it seems worth a try.
As far as learning to understand and unravel verbal violence, I love the books by Suzette Haden Elgin in her Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense.
There is an Audible Audio that might be particularly useful, I've enjoyed all the books although they are quite repetitive.
Mastering the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense [Unabridged] [Audible Audio Edition]

Best Wishes,
this is a tough one!
Grinity

Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com