I think your DD has a best friend. You! I know how parents are supposed to be parents but I often feel we can be their best friends too. I also understand that having a friend her age will make a world of difference. But I grew up without that person and think I somehow coped well enough to last this long without being screwed up. I wasn't a high achiever. My gifts were in the arts and "reading" people and giving empathy and I couldn't find anyone else who got things about people or the arts like I did so I was a loner most of the time. Met and married another loner. How our kid turned out totally gregarious and un-loner-like I'd never know lol. But he has the problem too. He has no best friends. A few really good friends but we don't see these kids as often as he'd like.
I wish when I was 14 that someone, an adult especially, had held my hand and assured me it's okay to be different. To be gifted in a different way, different from my own siblings, different from all the popular girls in school. That it's okay to be who you are because you have your own strengths to contribute to the world.
So I think you did great herenow. And I wish I'd have the presence of mind to handle things like you did when my son is older. Many, many hugs to you!
