My kids are much younger than your DD, but I think you did a wonderful job explaining to her what's going on and helping explain away some of the "what's wrong with me?" feelings she's probably having. I wish my own parents had sat down with me and that bell curve in middle school! I had no clue till I had my own kids and started doing research that our giftedness affects our social lives; it would have been nice to know the cause of some of that angst when I was in the middle of it so many years ago.
If next year's school "feels right" to your family, hopefully some of these feelings of isolation will be alleviated next year; and she is more likely to find one or two "matches" in a bigger school. I feel that if our kids can have at least one or two "real friends" as your DD defines it, on top of all the other people they're just friendly with, they can feel like they belong somewhere.
In the meantime, hopefully understanding how her giftedness affects her social life has provided her some consolation on a deeper level, even if it doesn't change her sadness over her current situation.
