Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Sex Ed discussions

we used It's not the Stork. It actually comes in 3 age level groups. I thought it was neccessary to prepare DD for the upcoming birth of her sister.

I don't think you need to say the actual mechanics. I think at this age, you can sort of "leave a blanket over it" so to speak and give him the "special hug" line...but I also think it's important to not hide the truth from them or act like its a mystery, because these are EXACTLY the kinds of kids that want to solve a mystery. I think you need to give them proper, appropriate vocabulary (we use the correct names for all parts, except breasts, we use bosoms). My girls do say penis and vagina and know that women have three holes. We also stress that these are things to talk about in the bathroom or at home or the doctor's office.

So far, so good!

Another vote for It's Not the Stork and explaining when you're asked. DD asked at 3. DS hasn't asked yet, but he doesn't ask by 5 or so I will tell him.

I really strongly believe in giving kids the truth about this. I don't think it's harmful, whereas NOT knowing can be.

Also, the research on this is in my field, and passthepotatoes is exactly right--study after study shows that TALKING to kids about sex openly and honestly actually protects against risky sexual behavior. Kids do look up to us. They do listen. Even teens.

What's funny is that a lot of the people here advocating for full disclosure are echoing my own position about keeping the mechanics a secret, so apparently we don't disagree nearly as much as it seems on the surface. DD6 already knows that she has different sex organs from a boy, that those differences are relevant to making babies, that both boy and girl bodies change into man/woman bodies during their teenage years, and she's aware of some of the more obvious changes that involves. So information is already flowing.

Her school system talks about sex-ed in 7th grade biology, and I have no intention of waiting until then to talk about these things in more detail. But that's for 10 or 11, not 6.

I think the argument about terminology is silly, though, because "My pee-pee hurts," is functionally equal to "My vagina hurts," and I wouldn't expect her to identify a problem with her ovaries any more than I'd expect an undiagnosed, non-medical professional adult to.

I personally disagree with that, because I'd interpret "my pee-pee hurts" as "I have pain on urination," which is not the same as "my vulva hurts" (likely to be diaper rash or similar), which is not the same as "my vagina hurts" (so improbable that I'd be mentally running down the list of people she'd been around unsupervised).

But plenty of people conflate stomachs and abdomens, so I suspect you're in the majority.

There is a very good chance between age 6 and age 11 someone is going to explain to her how the sperm gets to the egg or at least they will try to. Most kids know, or make up some version of that information if they aren't given the real information. I remember it being pretty common knowledge by third grade and that was preInternet.

And, I have to say time for an anatomy lesson if you think there is one part and it is interchangably described "pee pee" or vagina. The vagina isn't even the part used to pee. It is one thing to use slang, it is another to not even correctly know the number of parts or their function.

Agreed. In my pediatric practice, I get a lot of kids whose MOTHERS have a chief complaint of "her pee-pee hurts." I usually clarify using correct terminology, for that exact reason.

Also, I've had a number of mothers over the years who brought their (usually female) child to my office for the express purpose of having me explain the facts of life to the child. It's always a fun visit. :-)

Can I just say I hope it didn't sound like I didn't explain the mechanics in my 'special hug' explanation - I did. Once I had explained the whole penis/vagina thing I described it as a special kind of hug - because frankly, without some kind of positive spin, the whole sex thing is pretty unappealing when you just describe the mechanics of it. While I'd like her to delay it as long as possible, I don't think she needs to think of sex as a scary thing. And even with a tiny bit of positive spin dd is completely against the whole idea.

I have to say it's time for someone to review her netiquette.

Lol, IMO on a board devoted to education, suggesting that someone who displays (and even more relevantly, proposes that board members promulgate to their children) ignorance of basic facts of X should take a lesson in X is neither off-topic nor impolite, and therefore, not against netiquette.

So the lesson is, don't post a casual, flip comment, because any particular phrase will be interpreted as encompassing the entire breadth and depth of your knowledge about a particular subject. I shall be sure to enclose a doctoral thesis on my next post.

Now, since you've been so helpful, let me help you: http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/ubb/boardrules/v/1.html