Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Snark-Positive Thread/Time Out Corner

I like to invite everyone who wants to argue, be snarky, or complain to post here. I think that there is a time and place for everything, and that we should be kind to newbies so I'm hoping this works.

For 20 year done a practice where I get a chance to examine every upset or mean-ness and unravel it back to it's Point of Origin. I've found that I'm never actually mean without some POO trying to get my attention for a little healing and that after a little bit of supportive attention from a friend, the mean and 'wanting to hurt someone' feeling goes away. I still firmly disagree with folks at times (as you all have seen) and I still 'go reactive' at times as well. But if anyone wants to try that process here it's worth a try.

Being a person with an unusually high IQ in a heterogeneous world leaves all of us with some baggage, and when we get together we see that often the baggage is strikingly similar. Let's at least contain the snark, and when possible figure out what our own buttons are. I can promise that childraising and advocacy have been easier for me with those tools.

Love andMore Love,
Grinity

Ok, so I think that there is a difference between anger and 'righteous indignation.'
Think of the phrase: 'You should have been there!'
That can be said either way. I think if all the emphasis is on 'should' it's likely to be anger. If it's on 'been there' then it's likely to be RI. Have you seen this in your family? Has it been helpful to distinguish these? How have you helped yourself or your child to deal with either?

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Okay, I don't know if this is an appropriate complaint for this thread but I have to say it to someone somewhere.

Anyone else feel that being highly intelligent is a negative in some work forces? I swear that I have had so many frustrating experiences - from bosses who insist I perform a job in a completely backwards manner to having a job that took the last person 10 hours a week and me 1 hour and therefore I only get paid 1/10 of what they were paid for their incompetence!

Most recently I worked at a job where one other employee performed the same job (this is as a teacher). She was written up for being unprofessional, unable to properly manage the classroom, and not effective in her position - my performance received high praise along with my qualities as a team member etc. and YET there is every chance she will be offered her position back in the Fall and not me since she was hired first.

We wonder about the state of education but I can't tell you how many teachers I know who I would not let train my DOG.

Aghhhhhhhhhhhh!

Okay - I also know many wonderful highly intelligent teachers but unfortunately they are not the norm.

Snarky enough? Sigh........

Breakaway, stop being so efficient. You are showing everyone up and making them uncomfortable, hence they want you out of there.

What makes women feel good about themselves? Being around someone 100 lbs overweight or standing beside some aerobic instructor?

Since this is the snarky corner, I am not cushioning the blow.

Ren

What makes me feel good about myself is doing a job I like and excelling at it. But then I have to feel bad about myself because it makes everyone else uncomfortable. Maybe I am a man trapped in a women's body...ahhhhhhhhhhh...no.

So where Ren can a woman kick ass AND feel good? Anyone out there have that experience?

Surgery! Ahhhhhhh.
Grinity

That is a normal range of human reactions - to me it seems clearly part of our mamillian inheritance. 1000 years ago having one's group feeling uncomfortable was a lifethreatening situation.

But we get to chose what we do with our inheratence, no? If your child came to you with this senario,would you believe her when she lot you that she has to feel bad about herself when other people react that way? what suggestions would you make? For me it is possible to be grateful for the strengths of where I started on the continum, and keep congradulating myself for the babystep I take out of my comfort zone. Talk to people who started out like where you are at, and ask how they worked their way out of it.

What's your earliest memory of feeling like you are making other uncomfortable and feeling badly about it?

I read that 1973 book 'Rubyfruit Jungle' recently, and to me
it was clearly about a highly gifted girl who was being raised by an intense adoptive mom who had very mixed feeling about a kick-ass daughter. That sure isn't what it says on the book jacket, - oh well. But it showed quite clearly how many people react to a smart young female who is thinking for herself and seeing the world through her own eyes.

You deserve much much better from others. As soon as it's possible, go find a peer group that fits you better.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

LOL Grinity,

By the time I became a surgeon my hand eye coordination would be likened to a drunk monkey on valium.

Plus, if we go by a show like Grey's Anatomy isn't Cristina still vilified for her ability to outperform her peers?

No, I think we better find a common business that enhances the lives and education of gifted children and allows us all to shine as bright as we can.

I feel your pain Breakaway, every position I have left has been replaced with at least 2 less competent people which makes me think, why didn't they just pay me more for doing the work of 2+ people in the first place.

My last job was awesome: I worked with Engineers who hated dealing with politics and the labyrinth of government regulations that stood between them and their projects. I got to be the in-house know-it-all for everyone to go to for advice/solutions on that end, and they really appreciated it. I wasn't competing with, or compared to anyone since I wasn't an engineer. My position was so tailored to my abilities (to memorize and understand every applicable code/regulation/ordinance/statute and know all of the political personalities well enough to know how to effectively negotiate with them). It took a creative leader to figure out how to create a position in the company that fit so well with my abilities and their needs...I doubt I'll ever find that again...:-(

I was thinking about this, many of us (you) have had to become experts in the field of gifted issues and 2E issues due to the difficulties we have run into with our own children, It would be nice to be able to use the knowledge to help others beyond this forum and at the same time maybe make a little spending money. Like maybe a special position in school districts or counties or states that deals specifically with the problems/solutions of the gifted/2E students?