Do you or don't you tell your child his/her IQ score? Why or why not? I'd love your thoughts.
Background: we may be getting DS8 tested soon. He is very keen on IQ testing. But I'm not sure I want him to know the score. He's quite mature for his age so possibly he will understand when I ask him to keep it to himself.
I think asking an 8 year old not to blurt is probably a mistake. I know that 8 year olds can be very cute, and mature seeming, but trust me, the hormones are right around the corner, and all that mature-seeming behavior can fly right out the window. 'nough said? For me, i did endup having some sort of discussion with my son around age 8, but only because there was a specific concern and worry.
He was attending a gifted summer camp for the first time and a very difficult year in school. He was quite vulnerable, and I just didn't think it was ethical to send him into a situation for OG kids, and risk that he's still feel left out and blame himself for not fitting in.
We talked about the bell curve, its shape and how every program has cutoffs. I explained that this particular camp had a cut off at 2SD, and that his scores were around 3SD. And we talked about that kids like him are rare even in groups like this, that are set aside for gifted. Turns out that he had a wonderful time and it was a thrill to pick him up every evening with color in his cheeks!
If you do decide to share scores, I would caution you, that IQ scores don't measure 'smartness' they measure rareness. So someone with a 140 IQ isn't 2x smarter than someone with a 70 IQ. IQ scores only rank folks -which has some clear issues- and give an idea of how unusually 'abnormal.'
In a world where there was no urge to codify what various age kids are ready learn, there would be no need to define 'normal' and no such thing as abnormal. Johnny would just have a readiness to learn profile at a particular moment, and adult would try various ways to get Johnny and the next skill on the list together.
It would be so cool if one could look at the DNA or brain scans of kids who love music or literature and see a consistient difference - but science just isn't there yet. I would do the IQ testing for educational placement purposes, but I wouldn't give an 8 year old a number. I would just share the 'relative rareness' and any bottlenecks, along with some stratagies to overcome them.
I will take a wild guess that your son might enjoy Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" if he wants to get more into what makes people suceed. Good for him for reading about brain research.
Enjoy,
Grinity
