And finally I am wondering what it is about my kids, or our parenting, that neither of my older girls have been early readers and they don't seem terribly academically inclined.
IF A equals B, then does not-A equal not-B?
(Let A equal reading before 1st grade, and B equal giftedness)
I say "No." I think that very young children (under the age of 4-5) are very good at leading their own development. It's somewhere in the early elementary years that a parent needs to look carefully and perhaps step in and intervene. I have to research to back this up and only one child - so take it for what it's worth!
Anyway - some kids just aren't developed enough in their visual system to read before age 5-6. If you think you may have one of those, try playing phonics games aloud. As my son said, years later, "How come, when I wanted to learn about reading, you always grabbed paper and a clipboard? I would have learned a lot better if you just talked to me about about it."
Apparently the outer-directed perfectionist apple doesn't fall far from the outer-directed perfectionist tree!
Be pleased that your DDs love to climb and play. I notice that the 3D problem solving is stronger than the 2D and I do wonder if her developmental path - because of asynchronous development or exposure - is such that 3D objects are easier for her to understand than others.
So I guess you could test that out by playing 'reading games' of making letters and words from clay. Handwitting without Tears also has some 3D materials for preschoolers learning pre-reading skills.
When a child teachs themselves to read at age 3 or 4, that confirms a very strong problem-solving ability, and giftedness. But there is no requirment that a preschooler use their problem-solving in any particular way, so another child, who is just as gifted, may not teach themselves to read.
Too bad about your school being unwilling. Personally I'd ask them what they would need to see to wiggle the age rules. I'd also stress the social/emotional card. In the US that seems to be mostly what is valued in school culture. "She misses her friends and is sad" might melt a heart of stone.
Love and more love,
Grinity
