I'm somewhat embarrassed to post because all my learning has shown some serious parental failure and we do actually try hard to be good parents.
Oh dear, don't forget to serve out a big heap of blame/shame for the SCHOOL that has not been getting this right for your kids, while you're considering who should be embarrassed! I too, as well as many other folks have been in the same spot: miserable kid, parent desperate to figure out what is up, finally arriving at possibility of being gifted being some of the issue, and come to find out a lot of this misery could have been avoided. And we are in a good district with good programs, so hate to think about where ds10 would be without that light at the end of the tunnel.
You are right to consider retesting outside of the school if you don't think they are setting things up so your son can be his most successful. Money/absolute necessity is always an issue on this, I completely understand.
Katebee --- so sorry to hear about your daughter's experience with all this, our ds10 was seriously depressed around that age, too, it was very difficult to come to terms with for us, but we are all coping better now. In fact he is laughing and singing and doing most of the things he should as a kid, as well as most of the things he shouldn't. If your daughter is still very sad, I do hope you are working with a counselor to get her on a better track emotionally (and this probably is best done outside the school, I am not sure I'd trust a school to handle such a major issue). Best of luck, hugs to you and her!!
