I'll give more thought to whether we are pressuring her. The problem is that she isn't happy in the non-accelerated classes. When we don't push for her to be placed in accelerated classes with the school or tell her that we expect her to work hard, she doesn't do much and winds up in the average groupings.
If she were feeling fulfilled there and had friends that would be one thing. However, she's spent the past two years asking me to take her out of this school and being very lonely b/c she has no friends. She doesn't learn much in the way of work ethic in non-accelerated classes and the kids she meets there are people with whom she hasn't seemed to develop a real connection.
This year is the first time in years I can remember her really being happy with school. She has friends and the way she presents herself is evidently different. She just seems more confident and happier. It is hard to explain.
I really feel that having her in this math class has made a lot of the difference for her. As I said, I really think that she wants to be viewed as intelligent by her peers and to be accepted by the other kids who fall into that group. I wish that she wasn't so worried with what everyone else thought.
We're in a tough spot where we either risk pressuring her b/c we believe she is better off emotionally as much as academically when in the GT programming or we remove all pressure and watch her self image wilt b/c she feels like the stupid sibling b/c everyone at school knows that her older sister skipped a grade and she isn't doing anything like that. This seems like the first time where she hasn't felt like she is in her sister's shadow.
I really don't compare the kids at home. I think that the comparison is coming from dd herself and from her perception of things that other kids say.
