My son and I have situational anxiety. One of our strategies has been to try to learn more about the thing that is causing our anxiety. For instance one of our anxieties has to do with my husband riding his motorcycle in traffic. Driving in city traffic causes me anxiety even though I have air bags and every safety feature in my car that we could afford. We can't control the people on cell phones who almost cause us to wreck. There have been close calls for my son and me and my husband has told me about times when he almost got run over on his motorcycle.
Our strategy for our situational anxiety was to look up things online to try to figure out just how high the risk is that the feared even might happen and we read things like this:
Traumatic Brain Injury
The purpose of a helmet is to protect the head and brain in a motorcycle accident. Though it may reduce the seriousness of some head injuries, a motorcycle helmet will not eliminate the risk of these potentially life-altering injuries. Traumatic brain injury can affect an individual's personality, speech, cognitive thinking, and motor skills. Motorcycle accident head injuries, though, affect more than just the victim. Many brain injury victims are unable to continue to work, requiring full-time care and frequent medical treatments such as physical therapy. As a result, victims and their families often experience severe strain under the weight of mounting medical bills."
We have been reminded every single day for the last 7 1/2 years of the devastating effects of brain injury because we are part time caregivers for my mother who suffered a severe brain injury when she went in for a hernia surgery--not something we thought would be very risky. But we learned that there are risks with any surgery and my son was told he might have to have surgery if bracing doesn't stop the progression of his scoliosis and he has trouble keeping this out of his mind when he goes to the doctor. Also, dealing with the pain of wearing the brace and knowing he will have to wear it for at least four years is very difficult.
I don't know of any strategy that will help us "forget" those things we learned that only led to more anxiety for us. My son is able to use his sense of humor to get through some of it but there are times that the anxiety is almost unbearable.
My son knows there are risks with taking medication. One of the reasons my son didn't want to take the prescribed medication to possibly prevent his migraines was because there is an increased risk of "suicidal thoughts." Although he has not had any suicidal thoughts he is going through a difficult time with the brace and headaches and doesn't want to risk feeling worse to the point of contemplating suicide. He felt that continuing to take Ibuprofin was less risky.
The feeling of isolation makes the anxiety worse. When my dad had to go to the hospital recently, I got on Facebook and asked my friends and family if they knew anyone who could help us with my mother if we needed help--she sometimes falls and we can't get her up off the floor. Not one of my facebook friends responded, not even people we used to go to church with. My husband can take off work in an emergency but it is at least a 30 minute drive for him and my sisters.
The feeling that we really do have to deal with this alone without any help causes a great deal of anxiety for me. Our state doesn't have any programs to help middle class people trying to care for a loved one at home. My parents do not qualify for Medicaid and it is very, very expensive to hire people to help so my dad does it on his own. I stopped asking my son to go over there with me because he says he gets that horrible sensory overload feeling the minute he walks in the door. I feel horrible about this knowing how much seeing his grandson helped my dad get through the day. I don't know how to stop feeling so sorry for my dad. I wish I could just unplug that part of my brain that controls that feeling. Knowing that this situation could continue for years wears me down. This kind of situational anxiety is beyond anything I have read about.
I do have medication to take if I get in that sensory overload state but it makes me tired and I can't be tired and deal with what I must deal with.
