When I was a kid I played outside in the sun with my sisters. When I was in elementary school I had anxiety to the point that I didn't speak to anyone at school, but I didn't worry about anything at home. I did well academically in school, usually straight A's. People told me I was smart but I stopped trying new things because I had anxiety about possibly not being smart in something.
My son never got to have what I had as a child. No playing in the sun for him. His dad, sister, and grandfather had skin cancers removed because they spent a lot of time in the sun. He would rather be white and not have to worry about skin cancer.
He sees me worrying about things over which I have no control. He is very perceptive. When I try to keep from telling him what is worrying me, he says if I don't tell him he imagines something much worse than the actual problem. He knows when I am not telling him the whole truth and he wants to know the whole truth. The truth is I am most worried about something happening to us like what happened to my parents. I can't get it out of my mind because my husband rides a motorcycle to work and I keep hearing news reports about motorcycle accidents. If my husband were seriously injured and needed long term care it would be financially devastating and would prevent us from homeschooling and saving for college, but we can't afford long term care insurance and homeschooling and everything else.
My son tells me that it is all gambling, and that even though I told him I don't believe in gambling, I am gambling. He says when we make choices about what to do with our money, whether it is investing or saving for college or buying one kind of insurance but not the other, it is all gambling. He heard us talking about long term care insurance because my dad, who was very frugal and thought he had saved plenty of money saved for retirement and had every other kind of insurance, did not have long term care insurance and now, in order to qualify for any kind of government help with my mother's care, he will have to spend down all his assets until he has very little left--I think $2,000. My dad didn't realize he was gambling either. He will not put my mother in a nursing home until he is totally unable to take care of her himself with a little help from family (usually my son and I) when he has to leave the house. My dad says it is good for my son to learn how to take care of old people.
My son has anxiety about health issues and developed white coat anxiety after he found out he had to wear the painful scoliosis brace. It is difficult to not have anxiety about this when he has to go in for checkups. He has been reading message boards. He knows there are people who also went through the pain of wearing the brace for years but still had to have surgery. But he knows his chances of not having surgery are better if he wears the brace.
He totally understands that life is a gamble and I wasn't as aware of this at his age. I felt protected somehow and only saw that bad things happened to other people. I was definitely not as smart as he is.
My son is twice exceptional. I think this probably causes some anxiety for him. There are just so many things to worry about and my son is aware of all the possibilities so it is hard not to feel scared to death sometimes.
