Well, I have a different take.
When Mr W hits us, we cry out in pain. When he hurts others we show great sadness. We try to induce in him the empathy his great sensitivity predisposes him too. It is training him to take the perspective of others before he acts.
Empathy is an emotional reaction to others' situation. I do not see how cutting off access to material things teaches empathy. Self control due to loss of privileges is not the same as empathy nor do I see how it induces empathy.
Empathy is a far greater and deeper and stronger value than access to material things or the desire for material things. Nor are people material things.
I do not think nonviolence is a goal in itself. I don't want to insult anyone, but you cannot have empathy and be nonviolent. A person with empathy cannot stand by and see the innocent abused or hurt. Anger is the appropriate emotion in the face of injustice or immoral behavior. Nonviolence as a goal squashes empathy as does emotional control. Empathy must be the goal.
Another point is that kids read faces and you cannot give mixed signals. There needs to be emotional context so that they can understand what they have done and learn to see it in others as well as how to project it. Your face and body language need to be consistent with the subject.
