Welcome! This all sounds so familiar. DS6 had perfectionism issues showing up very early too. The writing was a big problem. If I remember correctly, he was writing out letters when he was 2, and excited about it. Then, when he got a bit older he started realizing that things weren't coming out how he wanted them. I remember him going back to drawings and painstakingly closing all the shapes if there was a little gap. He soon hated drawing and writing, and we decided that we wouldn't force the issue. He went into kindergarten not knowing how to write or spell, but reading at very high levels. Good news -he learned to write and spell in kindergarten, and doesn't seem to have any perfectionism issues related to writing. And he's been drawing very detailed diagrams of the characters from his computer games. For us, it just took a break and time.

It sounds like your DS wants so badly to write though. Do you think it might help if you let him do a bit of keyboarding and show him the spellchecker? I know that I've heard some say that they later regret showing their kids the spellchecker, but just a thought.

We started piano lessons as a way to combat perfectionism too. DS was 5 when he started, but I know others who have started at 4. DS recently had a recital, and he's come such a long way due to practicing, that I am hopeful he's learning that some things just take practice.

Best of luck!