Hi,
I have to say that I completely agree with Grinity. I think the most important thing is what the teacher said: "she is doing well and has seen tremendous improvement." As a parent, I know I tend to put my perfectionistic high standards into play, and when you are not in the classroom everyday it is hard to know just exactly where your child is in relation to the other children and also where your child is in relation to what the teacher is expecting. The teacher is there and seems aware of and supportive of your DD, and is aware of how she is doing in relation to all the other kids, so I think the teacher's opinion is very valuable in this situation.
Also, while I don't think that a child should endure long-term stress in school since liking to learn is so important, I think hard work, and yes maybe even a little short-term stress, is helpful. This is probably the biggest change your daughter is going through -- as are all gifted kids who finally get a challenge -- actually having to think hard and work hard at school. Not to mention just learning the ropes of going to school and all the routines that go with it. You have to expect an adjustment period. (And from what the HSers say, the adjustment to a new learning environment can take several months.) Maybe the difference you're seeing in your DD's grade acceleration versus the standard acceleration that you've read about is just the change from a more unschooling environment to a structured school environment. But, again, since your DD is gifted, she learns at a faster rate than most of the people in her class. So, while she may be having to work hard now to pick up some of the things she hasn't been exposed to yet, she WILL pick it up. And the fact that she is moving quickly has been verified by her teacher.
Sure it's hard to watch them be frustrated, but working through her frustration and ultimately being successful will really help her confidence. I remind myself of that when watching my possibly 2E DS work so hard while my other two gifted DC barely work at all. Hard work is an important, learned skill.
And besides, she's seems to be in an academic environment that a lot of us are asking for for our children. She's getting to learn new things without a ton of repetition according to her ability. Yea to that! And it seems like she's in a great social situation as well. Don't underestimate how great it is for her to have friends with whom she fits in so well.
On the other hand, I know how hard it can be to have to put in so much time helping with homework, and how the sheer amount of time it can take to do challenging homework can preclude relaxation and play time after school and on the weekends. My DS often has hours of homework a night and there are a lot of things that I have to be involved in at this point. And, boy, it is stressful and time consuming for both of us right now! I would really emphasize how important it is for you to somehow find just 15 minutes after school where your DD could run around outside in the fresh air or sit and relax and have a snack after school. On the weekends, we try really hard to let our DS have at least half the day, and often an entire day, to do nothing but relax and play, even if he has a lot of work that needs to be done. With us, we've seen how far a little relaxation can go. Also, just hug her extra and maybe tell her how great it that she's doing so well. She may not realize just how much progress she is making and just how well she is doing working to adjust to her new challenges.
Hang in there. I'd bet six months from now she'll be all caught up she'll be settled in at school and you'll be really happy with the move.
Last edited by mnmom23; 11/13/09 09:00 AM. Reason: I just reread your post and realized that you are giving your daughter time to relax and play. I think that's so great and really attempts to balance work and play.
