Her teacher thinks she is doing well and has seen tremendous improvement. He seems to think these holes will just begin to get filled in for her.
R
Hi R,
I'm sorry that it's been so hard - you are in the middle of 'reversing underachievement.' and it stinks, but the rewards are worth it. With a FSIQ of 144, there really isn't any doubt that your daughter will catch on. Sadly, I predict that by next year, you will be back to worrying how to get her enough challenge.
When my son skipped 5th grade, in a 'high output' school, I basically had to 'breath' for him. We were joined at the hip for about 6 months. But I'm so glad that I did it. I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't want him to have to go through this transition alone when he got to college (like I did.) Any, what I discovered is that I still was invested in the idea that 'if one is smart, and one is working really hard, then something is wrong' and 'A is the only grade to get' - I really had no idea that those ideas were still rattling around inside me, but they were. Better to get a C in 2nd grade, and be learning how to work hard at school, then get her first C in high school and be totally unable to accept it. So my friends had to teach me how to 'cheer' (outside of DS's hearing) when he got his first report card in 6th grade, for his first C!
I'm a great believer in the 'if the social fit is good, then the raw intelligence is really there.' She isn't verbally saying she is bad or stupid or hates school, is she?
Remember that due to our current collections of cultural ideas, giving a girl big challenges is seen as 'wrong' while giving a boy the same sized challenges is seen as normal and good. Lots of studies show that in schools, when a boy has a challenge, the teachers say: 'Work harder, suck it up' but the girls are told 'Don't worry, I'll show you how, I'll find you an easier class.' So it may help you feel less guilty if you 'pretend' she is a boy and then check how you feel about it.
It really is appalling, emotionally, to see the child really working hard for the first time. This doesn't mean that it is the wrong thing to do, just that we aren't used to it! But with the parenting I see coming at you - welcome this chance to get used to it!
If she really isn't ready for Middle School by the end of elementary, or High School by that time, or College by that time, you can do a 'Gap Year' and give her a chance to physically mature, if it should be needed. Since you know that homeschooling doesn't work at this stage of development, you can hope that when she is older, it would work better. Or switch to a different school and decelerate then, but not now, as elementary school really offers so very little to Profoundly Gifted kids.
((hugs))
Even great problems to have feel like #### while you are living through them. That's normal.
Grinity
