Remember that due to our current collections of cultural ideas, giving a girl big challenges is seen as 'wrong' while giving a boy the same sized challenges is seen as normal and good. Lots of studies show that in schools, when a boy has a challenge, the teachers say: 'Work harder, suck it up' but the girls are told 'Don't worry, I'll show you how, I'll find you an easier class.' So it may help you feel less guilty if you 'pretend' she is a boy and then check how you feel about it.
This is OT, but FWIW:
Very true. DW calls this "Putting her big girl panties on." She was done a disservice when she was younger and has had to learn some painful lessons since taking over a company in this very bad economy. It all on her shoulders. Learning to stay up until 5 am making hard decisions and getting it done all by yourself is the difference between those who do and those who don't.
This attitude is displayed by some of her male direct reports as well when working with her on something difficult. She is aware now of the social dynamic and heads it off before it starts. She has to have different leaderships styles with these individuals as its so ingrained with them. There is a different dynamic with the women.
I think this is at the root of some girls withdrawing in late JR high and High School (as she did) when they sense their hard work and commitment are not valued the same way and that they need "help" when they run into a tough spot.
DW has taken a lot of comfort in reading the bios of strong women. She just finished Carly Fiorina's this month. Its pretty good as Fiorina was placed in a lot of very difficult positions both from a social, gender, ethnic, and business and had to navigate all those issues to get things done.
DD's might enjoy finding role models in real life or in literature as a source of comfort as well.
