I've just recently realized what my particular issue was with all this. It just made no sense to me that something that just came so simply and easily to my kids could possibly be not as simple or easy for other kids. The thing is that my friend probably does more stuff with her girls than I do with my boys. They have at least as many opportunities to soak up information, but they just don't do it the same way my two do.
I have kids who are different enough from the kids that are the norm for the charts that it was hard for me to accept that it was my kids that were different and easier for me to accept that the charts must be wrong. It actually took me quite a bit of time and emotional stress to come to terms with it.
Not that this is what you are going through, but when I read your post it reminded me SO much of that time in my life that I felt I should share my perspective...
This is exactly how I feel. I really have hard time believing that my child would be so special. Of course as her mom I think she is amazing but I just thought that I'm biased and all the toddlers are like her. Now I'm starting to realize that maybe it is not the normal for her to learn things so fast. Like I did not think to introduce alphabets to her as she was just a baby in my mind until one day she started pointing them from food containers and laptop. I showed her abcd and thought that it was pretty amazing how she learned them so fast. Then suddenly she knew them all, I'm not even sure from where she got them.
Wow- I must say that I have had almost the same reaction to the developmental milestone charts- part of me has been amazed as to how quickly my LO has moved through the different skills, and part of me has felt bewildered- sort of like- what next? If he's mastering skills that a 3-4 year old is still unsure of, then how do I guide him to appropriate peers, schooling, etc. I'm already worried about the lack of GT school programs here and as my LO is very physically busy, it may be even more difficult.
SO glad I found this site- I really appreciate hearing other's reactions and stories.
Thanks for sharing, it is nice that there is so many of us in similar situations here. DD has always been naturally very athletic, I'm thinking of enrolling her to gymnastics for the fall. She would love it.
I just took my DS in for his 3yo exam.
The Dr. asked me if he could run, if he knew his shapes & could name a few colors.
In my mind...Well I'm pretty sure he can read RED and BLUE but I think TURQUISE might snag him. hehe
I never looked at the regular milestone charts but I am pretty sure 99% of 3yo can name colors and shapes even without instruction. Right?
I think that ruf's levels of giftedness are a slightly better gauge. Looking back, it is accurate for my DD7.
At this point I still have no idea what a regular kids does

Yes doctors appointments are so funny. Sometimes I have actually hard time understanding what they mean. Like with shapes I might answer that if she does not concentrate she sometimes mixes up pentagon and hexagon LOL
This made me chuckle. When DS5 was between 1-2 yrs old, I had the same feelings as oli. And it was definitely GT denial. Granted, we still don't know the level of DS5's giftedness, but we do know he's more than just above average.

You would think that it would be easier accept, I should be happy shouldn't I?