My son was nominated for the scout historian position by one of his older friends and even though he has mixed feelings about it since he knows this means he will definitely have to go to the camps to take pictures, he decided to accept the position. His older friend also invited him to a birthday party and several of the older scouts are also invited so he will get to know some of the older scouts a little better.
We bought the book that lists all the merit badge requirements and I told him there were badges he could earn that did not require physical strength. He said, "Oh sure, Mom, I bet they have something like birdwatching, but the book isn't going to come out and say anything about hiking for miles up a mountain to find that perfect bird watching spot. Ya gotta read between the lines, Mom."
He says the hiking is one of the things that worries him the most. He doesn't want other kids to have to wait on him and he worries that he will trip over rocks. He is trying to build up ankle strength (he has very weak ankles and I have noticed that sometimes his feet are not pointed straight ahead when he walks) and he says building up endurance is not totally going to fix the problem because there is also the problem with the terrain. When his legs and feet get tired he is much more likely to trip and fall than the average kid. On a treadmill he can hold on to the handles when he needs to.
He also told me he thought scouting for him would be like a person who can't read going to the library. The nonreader will be able to enjoy some things, maybe he might enjoy watching other people or looking at the pictures in the books or maybe he can enjoy just getting out of the house, but he will not get the same full experience that the reader can enjoy. So I think he is willing to try it, to try to enjoy what he can from it.
I think he can handle a one night camping trip if he doesn't end up having to wear a scoliosis brace. I can't imagine a kid who still has trouble with clothing tags having to wear one of these in 100 degree heat and humidity. I didn't have clothing tag issues when I was a kid but I do remember wearing a bra as a girl when I went to girl scout camp and hating being hot and sticky and wearing that bra just about drove me crazy. I wouldn't take it off, not because I really needed one at the time, but because all the other girls were wearing one and they didn't seem to be bothered by it and I could deal with a little discomfort to fit in. I was sensitive to some things but my son is more extreme in his sensitivities to heat and cold than I ever was. I swear he is having hot flashes and if anyone should be having them it is me and I'm not.
One of my reasons for helicoptering is that I still have memories of the three little girl scouts who were dragged from their tents and killed in the middle of the night back in the late 70's. I remember imagining what it was like for them and their parents who sent them off to camp thinking they would be safe and would have a good time. I still remember my scenarios from hearing about that.
Another reason for the helicopter is that I know that you can't tell from just looking at a person if he is a child molester or collector of child pornography and that some of these people manage to find ways to be around young boys--could this happen in scouts? My husband and I were married by a part time preacher who was also my husband's supervisor at the time who is in prison now for collecting child pornography. I was around this guy several times, waiting for my husband to get off work and would have never guessed he was this way. Because of this experience I worry that my mom radar is defective. The scout leaders seem very nice and seem to really care about the kids, but how do you really know?
I think my son will be okay if he sleeps in the same tent with his dad and I wouldn't worry that his staying awake all night would cause problems with the other boys. My son hears everything and those coyotes often sound like they are really close to the tent. My son and I know that they won't bother us (there are coyotes that raid my dad's garden next door--they especially liked his watermelons last year) but the howling creeps us out enough that we won't walk to the port-a-potty in the middle of the night if we need to go. My husband can go without sleep better than I can and also, since he is a military veteran with lots of experience I would not worry about my son's safety too much. I only worry that my husband might try to get him to do more than he can do.
It will probably be months before we can get any kind of doctor's statement about what my son should be able to do or not do. That is the way our insurance works. We get to see a PCP who doesn't seem to know a lot about motor dyspraxia and sensory issues and wants to leave it up to a specialist to determine what kind of treatment or accommodations should be made for him. We are waiting to see if our insurance will approve a neuropsychological assessment at the moment and we are being told it will probably be September before we can even get that, then it will take even longer to get in to see a medical doctor. We end up having to get most of our info off the internet because it takes so long to see specialists and our insurance doesn't cover sensory integration therapy.
I think if my son could have gotten OT and PT as a baby some of these problems could have been avoided. My son qualified for free early intervention services as a baby but our PCP at the military base had to approve the OT and PT and he wouldn't do it. He only referred us to a neurologist. When we went back to the PCP (a different one) there was no mention of my son needing any kind of therapy because by that time he was beginning to pull himself up (at 13 months) so we thought everything was okay. Nobody said anything about not crawling being a problem. We knew it couldn't be muscular dystrophy because it wasn't progressive and the doctors he saw at the base didn't think hypotonia and a little muscle weakness and mild motor delays was enough reason to do anything like OT or PT. I still trusted doctors at that time and I didn't know at that time how important early intervention can be. It wasn't until he started kindergarten that I found out that his physical weakness and fine motor delays and sensory issues would affect his being able to get an appropriate education, that his academic needs would not be met because there was no law in our state requiring an appropriate education for twice exceptional kids. I just remember how disappointed he seemed when things didn't work out with the school. I don't want scouts to be another disappointment for him, but he will never know unless he tries.
