Welcome - and congratulations and wow .....!
I think it's great that for once a school is acting positively - but I feel for you trying to take a decision regarding the social side of things. However, there's no guarantee your child will be any less lonely or happy staying where she is now - is there?
SENG would be a great place to take her in the summer - if not this year, next year?
I look back at my non-gifted school days - I don't think I would have been happier socially at a public school, I don't think I would necessarily have made more friends at a gifted school. I didn't make many friends in college where the general emphasis seemed to be "drink beer". I don't have many close friends now. I do regret not being given more recognition to grow my talents!
I think addressing social needs is really important - and I think the UP side here - yes there is an UP SIDE - YAY! - is that we have resources like DYS and SENG and internet to help us. We are aware of teenagers and middle school being a diffciult time - so that might be a strange balance to strike - but you have a really supportive school - and it sounds like a supportive staff!
Given as I can't get DS6 accelerated in school at all (!) ..I would say never hold a child back - you can only live for today. Don't worry about her in 3 yrs time ..worry only about today and just go by "What's the worst case scenario - and how easy would that be to fix"? v. "What's the BEST CASE scenario?"
I was about to add what BWB just posted - which is - can the situation be reversed with the school and can you homeschool if necessary later?
I agree that your daughter's opinion is very important - and BWB has far better advice to offer in regard to taking the non-emotional approach!!