I have no idea what the resources are like in your area but I believe there are good and helpful people everywhere and it is a matter of putting forth effort until you find them. I understand it is easy to get discouraged if he's had negative experiences but I would do what you can to model keeping a positive attitude and being open to people being kind and opportunities to be successful.
We are dealing with similar diagnoses and we've had success with the kinds of activities that neurologists would typically suggest. I'm unclear if you are starting from scratch at 11 or if he's already been involved in activities.
Things that have worked for us: 1. family activities - walking, working out on the playground, yard work, playing catch. Ultimately the goal in life is to be active and this is especially important for people with low muscle tone. 2. Noncompetitive activities with people of different ages instead of competitive activities with same age peers. Community activities like yoga, dance, etc. can be good 3. Nontraditional teachers including teenagers - cast the net wide and ask friends for help.
My suggestion if you have not already done so is to visit the director the Y and explain your situation and see if they've got an idea. In many communities an 11 or 12 year old can go in the adult beginners class. Or, perhaps they can find a college student swimmer who can teach a lesson. Also, let people you know from homeschooling, church, your neighborhood, work, etc. know that you are looking for help.
Finally, as you consider birth concerns you may want to check on the rates of these interventions. Last I heard pitocin was used in more than half of births so I would not assume causation there. For what it is worth we are also coping with disabilities and I had natural childbirth. There are no guarantees in life other than there is no guarantee.
