Lori, you are showing your son how to deal with difficult things when you take care of your mother. You are showing him how to be proactive, and search for answers. There is no hiding from the fear of cancer taking your husbands health or life, but you showed him how to respond by caring for him, and facing it head on.
You are doing well is so many areas, with such a difficult task. So much of this you are not able to spare him from, but he does benefit from seeing you deal with pain, heartache, & fear. Does he get any benefit from seeing you get terribly upset going to a dentist? I'm not asking you to reply to that, because only you & your husband know what is best for your son, I'm just an outsider who only knows a tiny bit from what you've posted.
I do wish you well, and hope you get the answers you need soon.
