I'm praying for you, Steph, that things line up just right, and perhaps the 'behaviour management' teacher can help push for the skip at the private school as a 'least-worst' option.
Given the way the teacher and your son have 'locked' in to their positions, I feel that you MUST step in to change something.
As for the double transition, this is exactly what we worried about, and exactly what seems to be working well for our son, (so far)
There is certianly nothing wrong with homeschooling for next year.
You know, at the private school, DS in 7th was a straight B student, and when we considered the move back to public, he begged us to 'decelerate him' on the grounds that 'now that he knows what it's like to be challenged, he really really wants to be with his friends again.' and 'now that he's older, he won't act out in class due to bordom.'
We did seriously consider it. Then a few weeks later, DS did well on a few 'multi-month' projects that got handed in, and magically his academic confidence returned, and by the last few weeks of school, he was fine with 'not decelerating' and I was SO glad that I had stuck to my perspective about 'not decelerating.'
Turns out that 8th grade public school doesn't have 'multi-month' projects. Turns out that he got more mature over the summer. Right this minute, he seems to be in a place with smart 'like-minded' friends and stimulating assignments with less of a 'organizational skill building component.' Best news of all is that although next year the 2 middle schools will empty into one highschool, and be in a different building, he will already know half the kids. Further, since there are honors classes in all 5 core subjects at the high school, chances are that he is going to be seeing his lunch table group more and more during the day. ((happy dance))
Do most of the kids from your local public middle school go to one high school - or do they disperse? That might cushion the social changes, yes?
Are there active homeschool organizations near you? What will he do during the day? (You may want to start a need topic about homeschooling 8th grade)
Smiles,
Grinity
