Hi Rachibaby,
My DD4 is also very intense and energetic. She talks non stop and if we even hint that we are not totally into what she is saying she acts devistated. I was the same way as a child and luckily I married some one who can handle it most of the time and I have found several people I am close to.

We sat down as a family and talked about how peoples needs are different. Some people need to talk more than others and that is ok. We talked about strenghts and frustrations of different personalities, and that everyone in the family needs to respect each other. We didn't make it just about her.

We have designated quiet times. Like nap time 12-3 where the younger kids sleep and she has to stay in her room and entertain herself. If there is something she can't wait to share she can write it down or tell me after nap. She makes art projects dresses up her animals. Writes me notes and slides them under the door. She likes those work books someone suggested to me from this site a long time ago.

The important thing is to set boundaries. Let him know you value his ideas and thoughts. And that you will set aside time for him. And that because he values you he will wait until your out of the shower and respect your boundaries. If he does not, he will have a time out or lose a privliage, what ever you do just make the expectations clear. And make sure he knows you love him.

Clear expectations and boundaries will help him develop self worth. And help with his interactions at school or where ever he goes.

If you have reatives or family friends he can talk to that would help. Sometimes I say hunny, Id like to chat with you, but I am busy right now, why don't you call grandma and talk to her for awhile. Sometimes she gets frustrated with that, but she calls grandma and Im less adgitated when I get bombarded with questions and thoughts later.

I have found it is better to talk to DD directly about difficulties because these kids are smart and they hear everything. DD can tell when were frustrated and we don't want her to grow up feeling like something is wrong with her, but rather that everyone is different and like everyone else she has to learn ways to meet her needs in this world.