Thank you all so much for your advice.
So much of it rings true and I do realize that it will hopefully get better. I find that the exhaustion just builds up and the intensity just gets too much and I have a meltdown.
I guess I just feel that I am entitled to feel worn out by it all and entitled to some time and peace to myself. If I am honest I think that there is no difference In my rection to him if he is being genuinely naughty or if I am feeling tired or irritated. So he is so used to a negative mummy that it is water off a ducks back to him.
Last night he was in a foul mood and I sent him downstairs after a major meltdown and he finally calmed down. Ten or fifteen minutes later he called me down urgently. I raced down the stairs and he smiled up at me from what he was doing. "Look mummy, I am being unannoying." I felt awful.
A lot of the problem is Asynchronous Development. There is a three or more year gap between his emotional age and his mental age which causes huge problems.
I have encouraged his reading and I hope that when it takes off I will get some time to myself.
Thank you all again. It was great to get it off my chest
