Ren, the environment you describe sounds very intense. It is hard to maintain your balance in the face of such pressure and competition.
I grew up in a very different environment--and I just want to reassure you that going to a regular public school and then on to a non-ivy league college is not the end of the world. It can even be the beginning of a wonderful, fulfilling life.
Your DD has so many things in her favor--she has supportive parents and a lot of talent. Don't lose sight of that
There are going to be setbacks somewhere along her path to adulthood and you will all weather them just fine.
