We've had to discuss this many times when we didn't really want to. When DS was two, we helped start a local charter school somewhat based on the IB elementary model. We had "founding parent" status and were guaranteed admission. However, in meetings with the principal after the school opened, it was very clear that the school felt their design would meet the needs of all students and there would be no differentiation. We politely declined our spot in Kinder this year.
But that hasn't stopped the other 30 parents in the neighborhood asking us why we didn't think the school was good enough for us. Why we didn't want DS there... why we think he's special... why we worked so hard for something we didn't believe in... Ugh. My best answer to them has been "We had hoped for a school that would be K-12 and really want DS to have a small learning community." I stick with that- it's a good excuse.
I feel very lucky to have a very close friend who has a 19 year old son who faced many of the same issues we are looking at now. I can talk to her openly, get advice and she tells me when I'm over-thinking! I know that's rare. I can't talk about DS like that with any other friends.
