The students are told to show their work and we all know how gifted kids are with showing work. So you have a situation where the children told to do something that makes no sense to them. Multiply these two numbers and show your work for example. When a student asks her why and her response is "because I said so" that's not teaching them anything. There's a thin line between acting like an adult and acting like a dictator. We teach our children common sense so if someone said go jump off that bridge we want them to be able to use that common sense and not do it right? Well in a gifted child's mind , at least with my child, it doesn't make sense to show his work. If the teacher takes a moment to explain to the kids why its important to show their work they would be inclined to do so. I'm not talking about the kid who asks "why" when you say for the hundredth time its time for bed we are talking about a group of kids who have this inner need to understand the importance of what they are doing.
Yes we get a lot of push back from this one teacher and it stems from the internal investigation from earlier in the year and yes there are personal issues. But my question is...why should we force these brilliant minds to be quiet and conform when allowing them to be gifted children will help them grow up to be independent members of society who can change the world? Imagine if Martin Luther King or Hawkings was told "because I said so" and they never questioned anything?
While I agree
in theory, I also would like to point out that what to ONE individual is a critical existential kind of question can often come off as "tedious" (as another poster so helpfully termed this behavior, say, in meetings with another
adult even) when this behavior holds an entire group of people hostage to the Q&A session day after day.
The other thing that I wanted to mention is that gifted children
are still, well--
children.With so, so much of what that entails. If you are trying to get three children out the door in the morning, is it really acceptable to have to patiently EXPLAIN to your gifted four year old that being cold isn't the ONLY reason why putting weather-appropriate clothing on is necessary in the moment?
Sure, that might be a discussion for later-- fine. But not in the moment, when you simply need your child's cooperation and trust in YOUR judgment as the adult in that situation.
Generally, what we've found is that our DD
tests others-- to see whether or not they are logical and reasonable. If so, then she tends to follow their advice and is more cooperative than not. If not, heaven help that person with requests that DD can't see any reason for.
It's a trust thing for her-- not an autonomy one.
Still. There
are reasons why I forbid her to engage in some activities or behaviors-- and those are not necessarily reasons that she is yet equipped to fully grasp. Believe me, we had that discussion just this morning with our nearly 16yo daughter, re: why she will be BUYING her first car from us, regardless of whether or not that car is "cute" or "what she would have chosen" (it's safe and reliable), and she will be making regular (significant, but not 'painful') payments to us for two years. Oh yes, this is a life-skills and arc-of-development strategy on our part, and we've been open about it. It's still an exceedingly gracious deal for her, as we'll be covering maintenance until she moves out, and insuring her... and we are selling her that vehicle for about 15% of its actual value, and she will own it outright at 18yo.
She still doesn't
really get it. She will thank us someday. But that day is not today.
LOL. Today is about "why should I??" and "I don't WANNA..."
