DS7 questions the reason for everything. If there is a good reason to conform or comply, he will if he can. If not, he won't. I am glad for this questioning trait, and try to sustain it in DS, and in myself and DH as well. Our family is very often swimming against the tide, though, because of it.
"Because I said so" has been a failed reason since he could understand the words. It was a sure path to an epic battle, and I stopped saying it before he was 2.
The challenge, though, is often helping him see that a reason is not only good, but that it is "just." If he sees a rule being unfairly enforced, conformance sits badly. It becomes an itch he can't scratch, that makes him crazy. But honestly - same for me.
Side note - in DS's pre-school days, I sort of wished he would get with the program. Then, I started learning how to support him, and now I see him growing into a more whole person. In my most honest moments, I am glad he's so bone-headed about needing to know WHY. If he hadn't bucked the system, he could have been squashed. I would never have seen his needs and been driven (by all the trouble he got into) to take care of them. And I know the damage that would have done - because it was done to quiet, conforming child-me!
I'm mostly all better these days
But I'm trying hard to help DS not need to get "all better."
Sue
P.S. And now I'm a lawyer, and get paid well to demand that people tell me "WHY." Yippeeeeeeee!!!
