Last school year my husband and I had a feeling that our son's teacher really didn't "get him" and really didn't take any interest in him. We tried to give her information about him and let her know what his needs were in terms of emotional intensity, learning styles and other issues but she never really seemed to do more than nod her head as we spoke. We let the principal know at our June meeting that we weren't very happy with the teacher and that she really didn't seem to be a good fit for MrWiggly. But all school year he said that he liked her fine and she was nice and he never complained or told us anything bad was going on, even when we specifically asked about the teacher.
Last night I had MrWiggly fill out a questionnaire in preparation for some testing we are having done in August. It was the Harter Social Support Scales and it asks the child to indicate feelings about people in their lives. He handed it to me when he was done and said: "All the ones about teachers are about Ms. T. Now you know what kind of a teacher she really is." It was so sad. He had marked things like "Some kids don't have teachers that care about their feelings" was "really true for me." And "some kids have teachers that treat them like a person" was only "sort of true for me." All the ones about teachers were like that.
Then he told me that when anyone had their feelings hurt Ms. T. never did a thing about it. "She just didn't care, Mom," he said. I almost cried. Not only because my son was obviously not happy or supported in his second grade class but because he is apparently sensitive enough to it to have seen that she was like that for everyone. She teaches second grade, for crying out loud. Shouldn't she be a sensitive person??
We don't have much option for this coming school year. Our school has only one classroom for my son's grade. Even going to 4th for math he only has one class to go to. Not a choice in teachers. But you can be sure that I'll be more assertive with the teachers next year and hope that someday soon he'll be matched up with that teacher who really understands and appreciates him. I have two or three that I remember as having that special connection with. I hope my son gets that same chance. It makes such a difference in a child's life.
