I think all those things that you're talking about, Dazey, are signs that harm is being done.
Now, what that means to your particular kid and what you want to do about it are the big questions. There's no one right answer.
But you are exactly the sort of person I'm talking to when I say that if you think harm is being done to your child, it's OKAY to act! Now! Preemptively! You do not have to be patient and teach coping lessons and wait for all heck to break loose before you make a change. What you see and sense is real, and it's okay to do something about it--whatever that might be!--if you you feel like you should. You don't have to listen to the common wisdom that says there are lessons to be learned. There may be lessons there. But maybe the cost of those lessons is too great for your particular child.
I hope I'm not being obnoxious about this. I just know how you feel. If I can help, I want to.
