Hi - You sound like you have such a bright little guy! I wonder if you could help him come to terms with his brain by recasting things from "he HAS" Aspergers/ADHD to "he IS" an Aspergers/ADHD kid. When you "have" something, it sounds like a disease. When you "are" something, it's just who you are. AND - this is the important part - the braining wiring that makes him who he is has some HUUUUUGE benefits and strengths associated with it.

The brain differences make things pretty tough for him (and many of our kids) in the early years. But as he grows - and he learns what strengths and weaknesses his brain differences give him - and he learns how to manage the weaknesses and take advantage of the strengths - he will become strong and happy and really sort of powerful!

When my DS7 is having a tough time with something arising out of his brain differences, I tell him he has to work on it. His responses come from who and what he is, but he has to own that. So I'll say - "Look, your body is more sensitive than most other kids. So some sounds that most other kids might not even notice will feel awful for you. So you naturally get more upset than they do. But you can't lash out over a little noise (like a high-pitched girl's voice singing "Let It Go" yet again)." [Then we talk about things he can do to get over the upset and avoid it in the future.]

That's not the end of the conversation though. I also add: "BUT - don't forget that being so sensitive will be a huge power for you in the future. You will be able to notice things others will never be able to see. You will be able to figure things out that others cannot understand - just BECAUSE you can notice these things. Don't try to make yourself less sensitive. That's one of your powers. You just have to learn how to manage."

And FWIW - have you read the Percy Jackson books? Percy is dyslexic/ADHD, has been kicked out of multiple schools, and by the way is a demigod (Poseidon's son) and is learning to harness his own powers. DS loves, loves, loves these books. He hasn't talked about it, but I think it's in part because of Percy and the other half-bloods having powers that the ordinary world either doesn't see or else sees as bad.

Anyway - I hope the New Year holds good times for you and your family,
Sue