So given what I went through with DD and no one communicating with me, I was really surprised that a teacher would mention "Aspergers" in relation to DS before even getting to know him. So it goes both ways and there should be a middle ground. Teachers should tell parents that they have concerns and be direct about what they are seeing, but also say that they are not experts and that there is no way to know what is going on until a thorough evaluation by a trained professional is done.
Don't get me wrong the teachers are every so careful not to say the actual words, they just "hint" like you suggest. It can be very frustrating because they don't always know what they are talking about. Public School teachers can get in a lot of trouble with their schools if they try and diagnose a student, there are protocols and rules to be followed. Part of this is because if the teachers suggest it then, you as a parent can request the school do an evaluation. I had one teacher for my DD who when I told what I was doing outside of school she told me she was glad, and it's what she would have done if it were her child. But that she wasn't allowed to suggest that I get the private evaluation.
