I'd try to remember life is not a race. Try to remember that some of the after-schooling and subject acceleration etc that you read about on these forums is happening because the *child* is chasing it, not the parent. When we did afterschool, it was child-led. If our children had not been happy about it or eager to do it, or if they resisted, I would not have pursued it at all.
I also suspect that if my children had been in the type of school environment you've described, with a ton of focus on levels and testing, they would have been stressed out by school and wouldn't have wanted to afterschool, even if it was completely different and fun etc. When they were in K-1 they came home from their mostly non-stressful school situations tired and hungry every day and really needed a break. Now that they are older and have their own goals, they do some of their own after-schooling after finishing their homework at night... but they still need that after-school break. The difference now that they are older and self-motivated to do the after-schooling is that they will return to it and happily do it. When they were little, once they'd come home from school and had their much-needed after-school break, it was a lot tougher to expect to get them back onto an academic task.
So I suppose my advice is, if your ds is resisting, give the academics a break for now and find some fun activities that he enjoys that may spur his imagination. Continue helping him with reading if it's absolutely necessary for school, but if not, consider giving him a break and just reading to him through the end of the school year and early summer, then see where he's at developmentally re being ready to really learn how to read.
Best wishes,
polarbear
Thank you for this insight. I'm leaning more toward just catching up DS over the summer to be a stronger reader/writer and make up for lack of phonics in school, and then letting afterschooling be geared toward fun science projects and games that are educational.
