I can certainly sympathize with what you've been going through Dude, we've gone through the mass majority of what you're experiencing over the years. I've come to realize a few things in that process:
1. Right, wrong, or somewhere in between, no school public or private (without moving out of state likely) is going to provide all the needs of your gifted child. As parents, we need to expect to search out opportunities and supplement not only our GT child's education but social / emotional well being.
2. Being "right" often has little bearing on getting things done in public schools.
3. Be careful how much time you spend fighting the good fight of providing for gifted education in schools. Oh, certainly it's a noble cause and it's needed, however, you can spend a great deal of time attempting to get your child what they need from a school and by the time you make a little headway, the need has passed. It's still a worthy cause for other gifted students, however, for your own child often times it's just better to provide the solution by other means.
4. You're not alone, though often it feels that way. As evidenced by this forum, a lot of people go though such things with their gifted kids if not having experienced it themselves in school. For most, it gets somewhat better as they get older and we all seem to be alive, kicking, and reasonably well adjusted in spite of all the difficulties.
The whole lunch thing has been a pet peeve of mine for decades and it seems to be the norm. We're sending a really poor message and developing bad habits among children with that practice. As with many practices though, there are reasons, not necessarily satisfactory reasons to us as parents, however, few things are as simple as they appear without fully investigating the reasoning behind such things.
