Moomin, it sounds like your DD is completely sane, and unfortunately possessed of the (apparently mistaken) idea that she ought to be treated like a human being and listened to. Schools, in general, and many (most) adults are not accustomed to the idea of children as fully functional people with valid opinions and points of view who deserve to be listened to and treated with respect. Yes she has to learn to behave respectfully to, and clearly there are some problems there, but I would not want to squash her the way school clearly expect/need to either. If they would not treat an adult that way they should treat your DD that way.
