Often they can't admit it because their experience doesn't include the outliers, so it's hard for them to recognize an outlier when they are faced with one. Yes, DS's strange talents were referred to as "splinter skills" when he was younger. Yes, it drove me crazy; but this misjudgment didn't do him any harm. Over time, the judgment problem has gotten much better as the therapy team has simply had to come to grips with the reality of the academic gifts. They can't argue with the test scores.
All the same, I have to say that I am glad we didn't put the giftedness *ahead* of the disabilities, either. DS really did have a ton of autistic challenges that needed to be worked on, and it was very, very helpful to have our expert team and ABA therapy in which to do that work. It was highly beneficial to spend the early elementary years working on the deficits, so that we are better positioned in late elementary and middle to let him soar. Had we failed to take advantage of those therapies, and just excused his difficult behaviors by saying how gifted he was, everything would be much harder than it is now.
DeeDee
