MK13 - one thing that I am struck by in your last post is that your DS may very easily have BOTH speech (physically forming words) and language (pragmatics of social communication) issues going on at once and the speech therapists you have been seeing perhaps are either not distinguishing the two (lack of skill on their part), or are failing to communicate well with you about what they are seeing/treating and how/why (lack of communication with you). I can certainly get how frustrating it must be that the therapy you are being offered is so distressing for your children and I don't subscribe to the idea that it doesn't matter if it's traumatizing them, it must be done this particular way because that's what we do with autistic kids... I would be stopping seeing those practitioners too. But quality of the current services is a different issue from whether there actually IS a speech or language issue that needs to be addressed (in a way that works).
I do wonder with the IEP meeting to what extent the generic "these are the services children with Autism get..." is supposed to be followed up by the actual practitioners figuring out what KIND of speech/OT/etc is most beneficial for this particular child?
Finally, I would have thought that "A preschooler trapped in a 1 yr old's body" falls directly inside the "pervasive developmental delay" category? ASD is not only one thing, it's a group of issues all of them on a spectrum, your two sons may have different subsets of those issues, and each issue expressed in quite different ways, thus both sons can then seem very different and still be on the spectrum (just as two gifted children can be very different but still both be gifted). For example - you can see both hyperlexia OR dyslexia with Aspergers, you might see under responsiveness OR over responsiveness to sensory input (and one child may be under sensing in one area and over sensing in another). One child may express their motor development issues through clumsiness, another through limited motion... But all of the issues still fall inside "pervasive developmental delay".
