I think that most gifted persons have had a period of time where they wondered if they "weren't gifted" anymore due to some set of life circumstances or a series of poor performances/decisions.
That's not necessarily related to being gifted, though. It's related to self-doubt, uncertainty, and growth as a person.
Who is to say that those arty shenanigans aren't serving some larger purpose for YOU personally?
Maybe your destiny in life isn't to serve humanity with your gifts used at some mythical "full capacity." Maybe it's to live in a way which feels meaningful and fulfilling to you rather than to meet the expectations that others might have of you.
Figuring out what we want and letting go of what doesn't matter to us personally is very hard work. But it's also a relief to set down the burden of others' expectations.
Good luck!
(And congratulations on your work toward sobriety.)
