Therapist: "The quantum fields of the oxygen-enriched copper are out of alignment. Put this vase on the TV, then it'll be fine. It isn't? You must have put the magnetic nanomonopole the wrong way round."
Me: "Meh. I have a sledgehammer. I'm going to hit the vase to see if that helps. Also, I've noticed that some of the vases have chocolate in them and I'm hungry. So, if that doesn't fix the magnetic nanmonopole, I might at least have some chocolate which will make me feel a little better. Also, did I mention that I like to use this sledgehammer?"
I knew you'd cap that :-)
