OK, me again - sorry for the scattered (and many) responses.... a few other thoughts came to mind.
First, re the gifted - I think somewhere above you worried about how to nurture the gifted and noted what most of us parents of 2e kids have experienced: the first years of elementary school, in particular, are very focused on remediating and accommodating and finding work-arounds for weaknesses... and it can feel like the gifted side of our 2e kids is completely ignored and we worry that they are missing out on opportunities and growth because of that. From my perspective, it was so *very* worth the effort to focus on the challenges at first - my ds really needed that focus not only to give him the skills he needed to keep up with his education but also because it was a key component of building his self-esteem. Yes, it's true he missed out on some opportunities for acceleration and enrichment, and yes, by the time he was in 5th grade he was complaining like crazy about how boring everything *except* his area of challenge was in school. The cool thing is, since we spent that time, worked through the AT issues, tutored/etc to make sure we were filling in the weak gaps... ds was able to accelerate when he'd made enough progress that the challenges weren't holding him back... and then he was able to *fully* participate in advanced academics in the areas he really cares about.
One other neat thing along the way - when you research gifted issues and hang out on forums like this etc (or attend gifted parent meetings in our school district...)... it's easy to feel like everyone else is so focused on achievement achievement acheivement, particularly in the early grades, plus (and my experience may be unlike any other parents here).. but fwiw, there were a lot of parents around living vicariously through their kids and hence a lot of uber-focus on *my child MUST do this* or they will never get into Harvard or whatever. FWIW, my ds didn't have access to much in the way of gifted programming in elementary school due to focus on his weaknesses... but please know that now that he's in middle school he's doing so very very well on the talent search tests and getting great grades in tough courses and actually being able show his knowledge plus having opportunities to be in advanced programs. Plus he's in classes with teachers who are trained in those subjects (ie, math isn't taught by a general ed teacher, it's taught by a person who has some experience in math) - hence his teachers are able to appreciate his insight and abilities in a way that wasn't going to happen in elementary school. SO...I think he landed in pretty much the same place academically in middle school that he would have landed anyway had he had no 2e and gone through the traditional highly gifted program in our school district. Maybe we landed in a better place because we weren't so caught up in only pushing for gifted programs and feeling like that was the thing that mattered over all else.
Re the school in NYC, or any school anywhere - I mentioned how each school is different for each child... it's also different for the parent advocating for each child. AND I'd reiterate Mon's point about looking at the financial solvency of the school - private schools can struggle tremendously to stay alive and you'd never know it looking in from the outside. I've been involved with three different private schools which have had significant financial issues that weren't exactly publicized but no way would I have picked up and moved to have my child attend them had I known those financials. I don't want to go into details on the list but can pm you if you'd like them. We've also had one very good private LD school in our area that failed because of a combination of finances and (I think, or at least I've heard) differences in vision among the key backers of the school.
Gotta run, I hope some of my rambling helped!
polarbear
