Hi,

I didn't go to preschool, hadn't had a lot of exposure to same age kids and when I got to K there were quite a few in the same boat. K was a year devoted to getting used to school, routines, readiness, etc. Just in the last 10 years and accelerating all the time, this has changed. At least in my region, K is more like first and there is not much opportunity for kids to socialize: constant direction following, little to no talking to the teacher (they do the talking), strict moment to moment curriculum. There may be toys but they are used for a few minutes a day. Regions do vary, I hear of a few states that have a softer approach.

I guess the new approach works because so many kids these days are veterans of full day daycare or preschool, or parental "stimulation" of busy schedules. The new plan for K doesn't work though for all kids: despite him being bright and having had preschool we chose to have DS5 go to a private K that one might call "transitional", lots of play, it has structure but no academics. Even if he was emotionally capable of following strict directions all day I'm not sure 5 year old boys truly benefit from that. He will likely go to1st next year, and not do a standard K at all.

I want to compliment you for not having spent the first 4 or 5 years of your son's life in a tizzy over getting him prepped or ahead. The current emphasis on structured education for toddlers is kind of alarming, kids have grown up as healthy members of society for hundreds of generations without classes as soon as they can walk. And for that matter I doubt your ds is living in a vacuum or hasn't ever played with kids before. It just sounds like you have had a more family or community oriented lifestyle.

It is too bad his first experience with school resulted in him getting booted. One doesn't want him to get the idea this was his fault or that school itself is overly challenging. Nevertheless in a way getting booted is a gift to him. It gives him a year to gain confidence interacting with same age kids and gain skills at being independent. You don't want the school keeping him and him being known as a difficult or whiny kid.

Your idea to take him to the gym is great! Especially if the same group of kids is there at the same time you go each time, that's a good start. If he hasn't interacted with that age group much then it may take longer than a month for him to start having interactions and I wouldn't stop taking him just because he hasn't played with them. On the other hand if it's different kids every time then it's more like going to the park than school.

I agree with the others who recommended a preschool experience. It's the closest thing to elementary school, and yet still usually fun. It's hard to get the teacher led, no parent experience in other ways.

What we are doing with my son is trying to make sure we don't have big holes in the K curriculum so that going to first next year is an option should he be emotionally and socially ready for it. I kind of think a kid who can "do" modern K can also manage well in first, it's more the subject content that is different. For my ds that means learning to write well. If you want to keep a skip to first an option for next year then look into the specifics of your school district's curriculum and fill in the holes at home. There's no need for flash cards as there are all sorts of fun games, websites, etc that teaches this level of stuff. Check out www.starfall.com for reading. Or phone/tablet educational apps.

But having said that, there is as someone else pointed out no reason to want him in with older kids longterm, unless that's where he'd prefer to be.

If you aren't familiar with red shirting, look it up. It may well be that the teacher of his K class was comparing him to children with an average age of closer to 6 than 5, an occasional kid is even 7. If he goes to K "on schedule" next year some of his classmates will still be substantially older, the degree depends on your region.

Polly