As a parent, I'd be looking for somebody else to offer the support/coaching so that you can set limits/rules aimed on getting her toward independence. It's hard to be the boundary line AND the support to get there.
Totally agree with this.
If you're not paying, you have very limited ability to set any kind of boundaries in any case. FERPA means she doesn't even have to tell you how she's doing.
I would, though, try hard to make her aware of the consequences of her choices (say, if she is piling up loans)-- that sort of thing is hard for an ADHD person to see clearly, and she could really saddle herself with problems for later.
Does she even want help in getting it together? If she does, the coach is a good idea. If she doesn't, you may just have to gear up for a zen-like acceptance of the fact that her life is going to be like this until she chooses otherwise.
DeeDee
