Hang in there, Sweetpeas! There is a long list of parents ahead of you whose preschoolers had "behavior issues". That intensity is a gift, but so challenging to parent!
When DD was about that age, her psych sat with her and together they made a workbook that she would fill out a page of each night. Essentially it was a scale from "happy to sad" and she would have to reflect on how she had felt at different times of day, about 3-4 times a day. This morning I was really happy, so she would circle that end. "tonight I was really mad that I had to ...." so she would circle that end. She would also have to write down what had happened with the associated feeling. I did it with her. It helped us talk about things, pinpoint things that made her angry/anxious/sad, and it helped her understand herself. Sort of like a diary, but more structured.
