*I* feel better about myself since changing our approach--a lot better. So that's actually worth a lot. I wish I'd seen a change in HER, though. Maybe in time?
I don't know how much is her venting frustration from not being challenged at school, or depression, or any other issues, but from a specific 'Transforming the Difficult Child' approach, you wouldn't expect to see a change in her until you can pull off getting in the habit of feeding her energy when things are going well. She needs to get energy from somewhere, so by not having a tantrum yourself you are making getting energy from acting out less appealing, but still it has to get replaced by the habit of feeding energy when things are going well. This is, for me, why 'The Explosive Child' just didn't help a lot. OK, I've stopped putting my finger in the electric socket, but what SHOULD I be doing instead? The answer is to work your butt off finding small but sincere, provable things to praise.
Weird thing is that you don't actually have to say the things aloud. Just by retraining your mind to notice when things are going well or at least neutral, you change on a subtle level that invites DD to change along with you.
((shrugs and more shrugs))
Grinity
