I feel your pain. My daughter is now almost 15. Some days I can barely stand being around her. She can be so rude to me. I set down certain rules and will take away her phone. This seems to be the only thing that works. She plays apps on her phone all the time and looks things up.
She tried sports when she was young and was so-so, but is not interested at this age. She is not that coordinated. She is in band, but loves singing. She is in a type of Glee Club that she loves.
Her room is a disaster and I have (almost) given up on it. I work hard to pick my battles with her. She is an excellent student and during 8th grade suddenly began organizing herself - academically. So there is some hope there. She wants to be top of her class and will do some work to stay there. (She is first in her class now.)
Good luck and set a few rules that she can't break (such as name calling). And consider giving her an i-phone so you can take it away when needed. LOL
