Grinity - what do you do to support your child and help them cope?
What worked best for my child was for me help him develop his 'inner wealth' which is what the 'Nurtured Heart Approach' folks call that ability to
not be thrown into the hurricaine by what goes on around one. Like the poem 'If'
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772which still makes me cry - what a vision for a Mom to have of raising a son like that!
So I guess step one is to printout the poem and post it where you can see it - or a different poem that captures for you what the 'end product' you want is.
Then I used the Nurtured Heart Approach - I think the best teaching book is called "Transforming the Difficult Child" by Lisa Bravo.
Before that I had used 'special time' extensively, and I think that was also very important. Special time is a protected 'date' with the child where the child gets to choose the activity and the parent devotes themselves to 'taking the follow.' (instead of taking the lead - LOL!)
Here's a link where a mom talks about special time:
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/news/17/64/How-Special-Time-Works-with-TeensLots of good resources to read at that website. I did use that general approach.
So when I added the Nurtured Heart Approach, "No Crying" wasn't a rule for our family, because I really bought into the idea that crying and laughing are outward signs of important inner emotional work.
"No Yelling, No Breaking, No Badgering, No Kicking, No Hitting, No Arguing" all were rules though.
And of course - Self Nurture was a giant key to the whole process. I put a priority on getting tons of support for myself in general, and more during the difficult times.
But yeah, I do still get a chill in the pit of my stomach when the home phone rings around 6pm. That seems to be when schools and camps choose to call with negative reports. But it's rare for that to actually happen nowadays, and the chill is milder. Much milder!
I hope that helps.
Grinity
