Radwild, please do write about your decisions and thought processes leading to them. I am happy to do the same.
DS is currently enrolled in full day PreK at a secular K-8 private school with Montessori in a.m. and Spanish Immersion in the afternoon. We chose the school partly because we're considering it for elementary and the PreK kids are automatically admitted to K, otherwise we'd go on the waiting list. We also figured it would be good to give the school a chance to see what he could do and us a chance to see how they'd react before we sent him there for K. We had heard that most of the students are working a bit above grade-level and liked that the school pitched itself as practicing differentiation, although we were skeptical whether they really meant it for someone so advanced. At the prospective visit the admissions liaison told us they don't do grade skips "unless we would have an Einstein or something." LOL
He really likes going to this school but after winter break we've been continually addressing behavior problems, which are now spilling over into home life as well. It's stressful for everyone and I'm eager to find a solution. To the school's credit, they identified him early on (but seriously, how could you not?) and started having the GT coordinator work with him. She set-up some enrichment activities for him in science and math, which are the highlight of his week. His teachers are giving him some more advanced, but likely still not challenging, work especially in reading, but not as much in math. He still comes home with lots of worksheets with number tracing. We are going to meet with the GT coordinator and the principal in the next month or so to talk about options for next year. They're currently giving him a 3rd grade assessment to see where he is in the curriculum. I have no idea whether they'll recommend acceleration and if so, how much. Obviously putting him in 1st is not going to do anything academically, but the slightly more structured day and academic focus might allow better for subject acceleration and I do think he'd do better with kids who are at least 1 year older. My current feeling is that if they say they're going to put him in K and do enrichments or acceleration I would have to really think hard about whether I want to give them money for that. I'm pretty sure I can send him to the public school and get that.
And so, regarding the public school...our public school is supposed to be one of the two best in the city. It's partly why we picked our neighborhood. DH and I went to public schools and had always intended to send our kids as well. When I initially contacted the school and asked generally about their ability to accommodate someone working 2-3 grades above their age they sort of gave me the standard line and told me to check back when it's closer to enrollment. To be honest, I haven't followed up, partly because up until recently it sounded like the private option was going smoothly, partly because the more research I've done the less likely it seems that the public system will be able to do much with a PG kid.
Homeschooling: I know that this or some combination of tutors, online, etc. is probably in our future. The expectation is that when he's 10 or so we can start sending him to AP classes at the magnet HS. I'd like to do a couple of years of elementary school and then figure out how to bridge that gap, but I know even that might not be realistic. My hesitations are: 1) preserving our mother-son relationship if/when our personalities clash as teacher-student. 2) time away from DD1 3) time management in general -- to be frank, DH is not home/helpful much and I already have a lot on my plate. You might notice that socialization is not on my list. I'm fairly certain we can work out ways to see other children (perhaps age-mates, perhaps peers in interests) in other ways. I actually think a lot of his current behavior problems are due to trying to fit in to his class socially when he really doesn't, so I don't think we'd be missing out on any quality there.
Now I've written a novella, but I wanted to mention a couple of other things we're considering. There is a new school about 20 minutes away that is supposed to be more of an independent-learning environment, or similar to a collective homeschool. It is very new, but an acquaintance has enrolled her HG daughter for next year, so I'm hoping to get the scoop. Also looking into their summer program for DS. Another option that's popped into my head recently is just not sending him to school at all next year. Because he's just turned 5 we wouldn't have to send him anywhere or do homeschool compliance until the following year. Holding boys for K until they're 6 is very much the norm here. Might be a good way to try out an un-schooling sort of thing without any pressure.
