I have lurked around here for some time, keep going and coming back. My 6 � yr old seems like he fits HG+ and his education has presented so many challenges already. I keep coming back here for ideas, silent (imagined?) camaraderie, and hope for the future. Finally we are at a crossroads where I think things could go very well next year if I do the groundwork now to make sure that happens. He has been self teaching for most of this year after a very rough year for K last year. He is now at 5.3 EPGY math (I read it was rigorous so started him at 2.5, but it doesn�t seem that challenging yet) and going strong, half way through Life of Fred Fractions and finding it to be intuitive and easy (he likes reading about a little kid being really smart and pretty dumb about life at the same time). He has high level analytical skills, but still writes at a snail�s pace. He hates to read, but somehow seems able to read anything as a means to an end. He plays intermediate piano and beginning (end of year) clarinet. So� why do I have so many doubts about where he fits? He hates classes that don�t challenge him, but thrives when the bar is set high. He still does nearly all of his math in his head so I do not actually know how he gets his answers. At times I think he doesn�t even know. He is a kid in motion, both mentally and physically, to the point of exhaustion for me. He�s loud. I�ve already made a nuisance of myself at school and feel like I am perceived as pushy and bragging when I�ve been rather desperately searching for a smoother path. After discussing the issue with a teacher again in looking for a better fit next year, I again feel like crawling under a rock. I am filled with doubts, insecurities, sense of responsibility to do right by ds and even my dearest local friend thinks it is my teaching that is responsible for ds� high achievements. He didn�t even hit gifted on an IQ test (and yes, there were many, many problems with testing so hard to say) and his only achievement data is from regular (2-5? 3-6?)MAPs through the school, both shortly after turning 6 (215 math and 189 reading but broken down to K level vocab and 5th grade critical thinking). Now we have three schooling options on the table. I realize the limitations to advice from strangers, but please still help me sift through and predict potential pitfalls and successes with the rich BTDT and brains of this insightful online population.

Our choices right now appear to be 1) fully homeschool 2) Private school where he will be working at academic levels in independent subjects 3) Part time public school where he may be able to do higher level material, but I will have to push for it.

He would be thrilled to homeschool full time. I, on the other hand, find that I am tired, sore and sometimes ready to curl up and cry when I don�t have a break from him. It sounds awful, but he�s actually such a delight and I wish I had the energy and passion to keep up. IF we decide to homeschool ft next year we would probably move away from a formal math program, especially if he gets through the elementary EPGY, and do a science heavy curriculum that applies the math he has learned. I have NO IDEA what I would do about language arts. He�s hard to teach and currently is doing everything on his own. How wrong is that at 6!

I just don�t know if I can do it.

The private school we found is amazing. It is not a gifted school, just one that believes in teaching to the individual. He would be at age-grade and be in the appropriate groups for individual subjects. Sounds fabulous. But� our family would have to relocate to a place where there is not much to offer other than the school. Really? Seriously?? We do this for one kid? But he was more himself the one day we spent at the private school than he has ever been at the school we are at now. Kids seemed VERY accepting of each other. We would send our other kids there too. The expense is doable, but with sacrifices. Is there some argument for dedicating this money toward extensive testing and curricula suggestions? Gifted schools and Tiger moms are not in our future.

The option of part time school is what we have been doing for the last two years. It has kind of, sort of worked and often not. I endure the venomous critiques on our drives home. His teachers mostly like him. He�s well liked by the kids, but � the feeling isn�t mutual. He�s lonely. Just today as I brought up with his teacher tweaking a class he abhors, she was under the impression things were going great. Sigh. He�s a nice piece of furniture. They observe bugs in class, chart weather, etc. He just wants more purpose and depth. Teacher willingness to accelerate him is lukewarm, though we do have the full support of the principal and the district enrichment coordinator. Sure, we could force the issue, but a full grade acceleration would make minimal, if any, difference. The conversation today did yield a new strategy for the remainder of the year to try to raise the bar for him in the class. If this can be done then I *think* next year we could continue part time, not move, and I would have a few breaks. I would have to be a bother to each of the teachers in turn for independent tweaking in each class to avoid pushing for acceleration. If I push for acceleration I�ll be talking about trying to move him to 4th and up classes. He is just a kid genuinely passionate about genuine learning.

Clear? Thoughts? Thanks from a blundering newbie.

How old are your other children?

I don't think it's good that a six year-old is critical of the authority figures in his life. It's too cynical at his age (not that I don't understand and agree with him!). So I'd be inclined to give up on the school. Your son sounds more advanced than my kids and I know my kids could learn all they need in an hour of two a day of instruction (althought they are avid independent readers, so there is a difference there). I doubt the school is currently adding much to what he is already learning at home.


If you are willing to homeschool, but just don't want your life to revolve around it I am sure there are ways to do this. Why not allocate the tuition money to an au pair or full-time nanny and home school? The private school option will always be there.

With regards to him being loud - I have trouble tolerating this and have made it a priority to encourage my kids not to get loud in the house. I think it's OK to impose this, especially as it makes us all enjoy each other's company more.

Welcome Justin -
So glad that you delurked!
Because you haven't met 25 more kids just like him....I highly recommend an application to DYS, even with the current scores you have, doing the portfolio and the Map tests.

I didn't find the link to see where he is compared to other 6 year olds (was he in first grade at the time? Was it before EPGY? Will the school be doing MAP again soon? - I hope so) Inky - what do you see?

It may even be that the IQ and MAP tests show a very spikey profile with a 'bright' average. You may want to list the subscale scores just in case - or just look and count the 17,18,19 scores on individual areas of the IQ test. If you are seeing HG+ then I would bet that is what he is. You can try reading Deb Ruf's 5 level's of giftedness - as long as you remember that Level 3 is where PG starts.

Get a video camera rolling of your son doing his hardest math in his head, and talking about a super-hard book he read and why he chose that book and what he needed it for.

You can also visit hoagie's page and look and see if any gifted conferences are in your area.

Anyway - it took me seeing, with my new parent eyes, a few other HG+ kids to turn around and see my own child better.

((Cue Linda Ronstadt singing "Justine"
Don't forget about the little things our hearts do-oo-oo))
When I see this I think[B} 'move' [/B} so you can be near the new school.

Of course I don't know
a) if you have a house to sell
b) if it would create a killer commute for any of the adults in the family
c) how many babies live in that shoe with you
d) how bad 'not much to offer' is
d.5)if you have other family commitments that tie you to where you are now

or most importantly....
e) how many years you would expect to get from the school before he ran out of classrooms to hop to.

As far as I can tell - you have already decided in your heart that the private school is worth a try, but are feeling still a bit reluctant to turn your families world upside down to meet the needs of only one member. I can say from my experience that when a kid has special needs, then the parent finds themselves making choices that look odd to the rest of the world. And that's ok.

It might be worth talking some more about what your current location offers the other family members, how many kids are actually doing classed 'above age level' at the school, what the school has done in the past with kids who are 'way high' in just one or two areas and have run out of classmates.

Finally, I want to congratulate you on being honest, with us and with yourself, that as much as you love your kid, you weren't built to be all things to him. That shows very good honesty and very good self-aweness. 3 cheers for putting your air mask on first before assisting others. These kids are special needs, and the more you can give him by way of peers and teachers who 'get' him the better.

Smiles,
Grinity

Is it time to buy more testing?
I don't get the sense that you need it. Remember that you can have him take the SATs as young as age 9, and although he probably won't get 800, even a 500 at age 9 will be good enough documentation that he is HG+.

In your case it sounds like dc is working 4 years up in math. Even with the most teach to the child's level private school, I'd want to see some examples of what they have done in the past with kids working that far ahead in math/reading/writing/science. Not just in terms of them getting the classes they need, but what the kids' schedules look like. So often, even in schools like that, the kids get grouped into 3 groups - even if the kids in the "top" group are "wicked smart" your dc could be an outlier. And outliers are hard to accommodate from year to year at any school.

That being said dd loves her school, and with luck, will get another year of outlier accommodations next year. For us the decision has had to be year by year, so I would be very wary of selling the house and moving to the perfect school because it might only be a good fit for a year or two.

(Advocacy meeting today so I'm trying to balance my optimism and practicality...)

Grinity, is this through a Talent Search? If so, do you know which one? I always see SAT starting at 7th grade on them, or others using Explore. Just wondering since the Explore really isn't offered around us.

I have to ask; is the reluctance to homeschool at all related to a sense that homeschooling is something that "other" people do? Meaning, kind of a fringe-dweller, slightly KOOKY thing to do?

If so, admit that this is a barrier in your thinking.

We were also VERY reluctant homeschoolers. So we initially went into it telling ourselves that it was "only until the end of this year," and then "until about 3rd grade, when {DD} can advocate for herself better in a classroom."

She's now 11 and hasn't ever been to a "regular" school classroom.


Kids that are really 'different' require really different solutions to meet their needs. That's all.

I'll also note that I can sympathize with homeschooling a child that is high-intensity. Mine is one of those, too, and my DH and I both are fairly volatile as well.

This can easily prove a toxic mixture, as you've astutely realized already.

The trick, as someone else noted with the loudness part of things in particular, is to insist on firm BOUNDARIES when education happens at home.

"No, I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to leave that open container of mold in the refrigerator because this is where we store our food."

"At the end of this trial, you'll need to put things away for now, because it is time for quiet hour. Let's decide on a safe place for your apparatus."


"Help me with some ideas of things you could do with your quiet hour each afternoon. I will need for you to work on something quietly and independently, without making a big mess, during that time each day. What can you think of?"

I'd also make it very clear that at least some amount of respect for adult authority figures isn't "optional."

I mention that because I have an 11yo DD that doesn't feel that even her PARENTS have any "right" to "tell her what to do." This is a dreadful situation, since she is still very much 11 yo, in spite of having the debating skills and vocabulary of a high-paid defense attorney. Fair warning.

One needs to call College Board and ask for an application and then fill it out and mail it in.
Tip 1 - choose a testing center far enough away where your child won't have to hear from their friends that the babysitter/older sibs saw them at the SATs
Tip 2 - Remember that all the scores are automatically erased the June before 9th grade, unless you send in a written request otherwise.
Tip 3 - I hear that ACTs are shorter than SATs - it is a long time to sit still. We did SAT because in our state folks dont speak ACT.

enjoy,
grinity

Welcome! Just a couple quick comments. I wouldn't move anywhere until you had talked to a few parents of similar kids at the new school, if you can find them. Also, how far is the new school? We made the decision to drive our son 45 miles each way to get to a school for HG kids, which seems crazy, but it's actually made things much less stressful in our lives. We are no longer spending all that time advocating and worrying. And if you really are thinking of moving, look into more options than your one private school. Privae schools can pretty much do what they want and change their minds if things aren't how they want them to be.

Good luck in your decision making.

CFK - I can't speak to this point because there are no agreed upon definitions of giftedness or of the levels of giftedness. I certainly appreciate that a Level 5 kid has educational needs that a level 3 kid doesn't have. But I also think that it's a terrible shame that all kids don't have educations that challenge them appropriately - the level 1 kids I think are terribly short changed.

******
Isn't it tricky not to mess of the family dynamics over a kid's special needs, while being flexible enough to try and accommodate to the best of one's ability? Such a balancing act we walk, yes?

But this balancing act develops the 'mom-gut' confidence over years and years, and that has been quite a comfort to me.

Smiles,
Grinity

Thank you for the responses. I appreciate all perspectives to consider as we make some complicated choices. I do see the next few years as our hurdle years, after which I suspect ds will be able to advocate for himself and have access to more resources if he needs them. The capability level doesn�t pose the problems. It is personality. My older son is bright, but could walk into any school setting and be fine (fine meaning being ok learning nothing at school and playing all day as well as not caring whether or not anyone around him shares his fund of knowledge).

Some answers; we have a 3 and an 8 yr old as well. MAP test was early fall, given before we allowed self teaching with EPGY and books. MAP and IQ were only given through the school to try to grade skip, an idea put in motion in the spring of K when problems got out of hand, but not completed until fall of 1st. My older, then 7, had to go through the whole process as well due to Iowa Accelleration Scale rules that one child cannot be skipped into the same grade as an older sib. Ds6 is young for grade already. As the year has progressed, the grade skip has seemed less and less of an answer so we have not requested it, though it is approved for both. I am not considering applying to DYS. I do not think we�re talking PG. I like the SAT suggestion. Thanks Grinity. If things haven�t normalized by 9 or 10 it will be a good option to see where to go academically.

Howler, I have no aversion to homeschooling! We were hsing before last year. We moved here a year and a half ago, so the decision to do school was for the sake of finding friends for the kids as well as for education.

There is the possibility that many of the issues that are problematic may mellow if ds is out of school. He is sensory seeking, overly sensitive to smells and sounds (perfect pitch with a strong sense of the quality of sound), very expressive and dramatic. Interestingly, this is not true for the classes he hates the most. No, he learns no academics at school. Of course we could cover academics expected and more in a couple of hours of hs. In practice, hs when they were younger involved lots of field trips, hikes, home experiments, etc. We had breathing techniques for ds when he was younger that helped when he spiraled. He is long past that. We recently had his first OT appt so I am hopeful that we will make progress. Anyway, full home school now would be a way of life, require lots of preparation on my part, mess up the house even more. All these don�t solve the shock collar effect that his outbursts have on me. He is loud in his joy, loud in his dismay, loud in his angst. Yes, we�re working on it. We�re working on it. Interesting that the loud part, 2 words, was pulled out so readily. Is this kind of loud one that needs little explanation?

The private school is definitely an interim solution. It goes through middle school. They would put him in the 6th grade group in the fall for math (assuming his scores and progress show it to be appropriate of course). His reading lags greatly behind his math, but actually it is baffling how he is where he is. He has MAP and DRA planned for the end of this year. The director of the private school has a 1st grader in 3rd grade math. I�m fairly sure she gets out of box thinkers. The move would create an unsafe, long drive for work. It would be a new start socially when we�re just, just starting to feel settled. There is *nothing* there and it adds an hour to the drive to the nearest big city. Ds LOVES the city. LOVES IT! I am concerned also about the �squeeky wheel� message this sends to my other kids, who also have needs and are also both quite capable kids. Oh yes. And there is the extraordinary piano teacher (and sublime concert pianist) we would have to drive 1.5 hrs to instead of 5 minutes.

I�m not making any friends at school. The principal has been completely supportive. Teachers mostly have positive comments on ds. I have leeway to put ds into any classes he has shown capability to do. Believe me, I know how good we have it. But I am *that* mom. And I�m really not. The struggle may be that there is teacher perception of what it is to be ds� kind of thinker. My kids don�t come off as bright and feel no need to show what they know. Combine this with energetic boy. Ds is not the star student. Far from it. He doesn�t sit still or goes comatose, talks out of turn, seems to miss directions in class. I spoke to a teacher about how he doesn�t seem to know what he�s supposed to be doing or why. The feedback was that he could take his work to as high a level as he wanted. I guess he needs more direction and ideas? He has elective classes that he likes. His chess game has improved tremendously. I could send him to school for electives only, but that leaves me on the hook for teaching all of the academics. The two conversations I have had with teachers were so-so and left me feeling that at least for LA there would be no school options. I�m now hesitant to talk with the science/math teacher and am considering just putting him in (4th) and letting them come to me if/when there is a problem. The school program we do is already the best local option. I am grateful that we have it. I have asked EPGY to contact our state and see if they can be an option in the schools (with tutor). They have, to their credit, and I have my fingers crossed. It has only been 5-6 months of use in this household so I don�t know how effective it has been yet.

I�m adding a new category for the idea of having a full or half time private tutor or au pair. Can I ask if anyone here has tried pairing a nanny/tutor with 1-3 very active, somewhat out of box kids? Along with this is the idea of buying a large house and having activity rooms in which the kids can pursue interests. This grips my personal pathology. Must. Not. Unschool. We could afford either big house OR au pair. Not both.

A move to the city is out of the question due to job. Even if that weren�t the case, we do feel as a family that it is a true gift to have a small outdoorsy nest. The academics are not the most important thing.

I don�t feel like I am leaning in any one direction. Maybe it looks obvious to others? What am I missing?

Thanks again.

Sweetie Pid Justin - so very not clear!
First you say that acceleration will not do anything for him. and that you would have to push for it. Then you say that the principle has made it availible to both kids whenever you say the word. You don't know that it won't help. He might be a lot less lonely with older kids. Sure, he'd need subject acceleration too, but why not try what the public school has to offer. As far as I can tell your only complaint with the public school is that he is lonely, and that he is in the wrong classroom and you'd have to tweak every single teacher to get agemate classes to work.

2nd you say he isn't Davidson YS material, even though he is 'way beyond' your first born and your first born is 2 points away from qualifying with his GAI 143 when 145 is needed. It's possible that one a different day your older would have scored lower, but it's also possible that your older would have scored higher - 2 points is hardly enough to be sure. If verbal or performance IQ scale alone is over 145 for either child then you are halfway there. My head hurts - yours must be killing you! Can we say 'Denial is not just a river in Egypt?'

3rd you say that the private school is on the table, but that if you moved to be near the school, you'd (or someone in the house) would have a dangerously long commute to work. Is getting a new job a possibility? If not, then this option is not on the table. Maybe I misread? maybe you mistyped? Is the private school on or off the table?

I did like it when you said academic isn't everything. I agree, but knowing that you have a child who was able to get the principle to jump through hoops in kindergarden makes me wonder if you are in the land of wistful thinking there.

Maybe your middle boy is just fine in school and you need to see where the chips fall?

Lots more journaling, lots more posting (if I'm not scaring you off - I hope not) and as they say: 'Don't just do something, sit there!'

I think that when the new MAP scores come back that there are going to be some interesting developments.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Oh, welcome to the club! I think you've gotten some good advice already and from your recent response sounds like you've solidified some of your thoughts, even if you don't think you're leaning a direction, so I just want to share a couple of things, if only to commiserate, as we're in a similar situation with DS5.

First off, I have to say I am always amused when people think that you can take an average kid and just teach them math 4 levels above their grade if you just *make* them.

We are considering (kind-of) the same 3 options for K, although we've almost entirely dismissed the public school as a viable option and the private school we're leaning toward is fortunately only 5 minutes from our house. I feel we're on the precipice of homeschool. Maybe not this year, but a good possibility for the next. He's currently in the PreK at the private and we're dealing with the same situation of very active boy not engaging in the work that he's given, talking constantly about "goofy" sometimes disruptive unrelated things. And I'm constantly at wits' end dealing with this stuff and can't imagine having him here all day.

Although it would be nice to be able to make school decisions based solely on academic fit, the issues of moving and commute are not insignificant. In reading what you wrote above, it sounds to me that you don't feel the private option is probably worth the other sacrifices. My husband and I have discussed the hypothetical scenario of moving and have almost entirely ruled it out because: 1) You don't know if it really will be a good fit, 2) The impact and implications on the rest of the family, especially siblings, including 3) leaving family and friends and base of support and 4) What's a good fit today may change in a few years, or 1 year, or 6 months. It's hard to tell with these kids.

Which leads me to the next thing: you want what you choose to be the best decision for now, but you also have to consider that it might not be the best decision for very long. That's why I'd rule out the options of moving towns and probably even buying a bigger house. I think it's a good idea to keep a framework and financial situation that's stable, but allows flexibility for changes down the road. For example, if he would go into 6th grade math next year and the school only goes through 8th, what happens when he's ready for more than 8th grade work?

Before I got to your most recent post I was going to suggest the option of tutors, either with partial public schooling or as an alternative to you doing the majority of the homeschooling yourself. This is something we're considering down the road. I have no idea if the au pair for all 3 is do-able; I'd lean toward having a couple of different tutors who are passionate about their subject and would enjoy teaching HG kids. I am reluctant about homeschool for all the reasons you mention, and one thing that we're going to try when we get to that point is not actually doing the schooling at "home". This may not always (or in actuality) be feasible, but as others mentioned, we would expect to do no more than 2 hrs of instruction per day, maybe not even 5 days/wk and we'd like to do that portion at the library, meeting tutors at the college, or at the school if we did partial enrollment. I think that would help preserve the sanctity (and cleanliness) of the home and help put everyone's brains in school mode with fewer distractions.

Not sure if any of that is helpful at all, but I know for me sometimes the action of telling/explaining the options for others helps me come to some clarity. Kind of like when DS does eeny-meeny-miney-mo to make a choice because he can't decide, but then ends up with the one he doesn't want and has to do it over until he gets the right answer.

I love how you put that, radwild! I like to "think out loud" sometimes too. It just seems to help me to recognize the patterns that otherwise swirl around in those thoughts.

Perhaps I'm just a visual person. Writing it down definitely helps me.


Partial homeschooling can be a wonderful solution, for those that have the option (where we are it isn't an option, sadly).

Another possible solution might be on-line schooling if a family is really wary of sliding into an unschooling mode with homeschool. That's one of the reasons we do it-- but it unfortunately leaves the parent in the position of holding the shock collar and being the lackey enforcing the school's choices of curriculum, etc. (In the interests of full disclosure.)

It's more social than independent homeschooling, and my daugther likes the identity of having a school and a sense of "belonging" as well as a sense of greater authenticity when she speaks to others about academics. We like the fact that we aren't stuck spending thousands every year on curriculum that only sort of works, or works only for a short period of time, and we like that it is generating official transcripts and that she is getting some practice of having to do things she'd rather not do. When we homeschooled, because we weren't really accountable to anyone else, it was often easier to just give in when she dug her heels in about not doing something. That was not an especially healthy thing overall, since it meant that she NEVER worked on her areas of weakness (writing), and that the asynchrony and skill gaps got wider and wider at an alarming rate.

I throw the idea of virtual schools out there because I don't know if you have considered that as a possibility. A lot depends on how well the curriculum matches your child and on how flexible the administration can be; but it often makes radical acceleration MUCH simpler, since there aren't the social barriers in the minds of the school's teachers and administrators.

Heh. Yeah, if it were clear I probably wouldn�t have felt the desperation that drove me to post. I don�t like to rock the boat. I don�t like conflict. I�d rather homeschool than put my kid in 4th and have problems with teachers or other moms (dc actually do extremely well with older kids and we've never had problems with acceptance by the kids). So despite the authority to do so, I am hesitant to do it. Kids are approved to skip single grade on record, but go into classes as needed above that. Some teachers don�t find it appropriate. There�s more, but I�m posting novellas. Sheesh.

Clearly matching kid and education is not an unusual problem. I�ll continue stewing for a bit. Read a lot. I do see now that as great as the private school is, and it is pretty great, it is not a realistic option.

Radwild, please do write about your decisions and thought processes leading to them. I am happy to do the same.

Grinity, thanks for being a champion of gifties. I don�t trust the IQ scores for older any more than for younger. I can discuss why in PM, not forum. Even *if* the numbers are correct for older ds, the scatter makes them unuseable (19 in MR, 10 in PC � kind of remote). Middle kid has beautiful even keel bright profile. He is SO NOT even in ANY way. You are one to say trust the mom gut. I've read enough around this forum now. My gut tells me we are outliers, but not 99.99 kind. Maybe 99.8. I'm happy with the forum. Makes me feel within a norm.

Thanks for the thoughtful feedback and personal narratives. And to be clear, EPGY has graciously contacted our state at my request, but not applied for or been approved to be paid for by the state. If they get to that point and if further district tests show it is effective for my kids, it is an online program we would use in school. So with that reasoning, yes, I would go to online learning for homeschool as well. I guess that is what we do now actually.

Sounds like you've got a lot to think about. I don't have a whole lot to add right now, but I did want to mention that there are other ways to do EPGY within the school, without the school/state paying for it, if your school allows it. You can sign up with a homeschooling group (there is one run through a parent on this forum), and then if the school lets your DC, they can just sign on from school. If you sign up as a homeschooler, the parent would be the one in charge of things like contacting the EPGY group if necessary and such, rather than the school.

Also, the "PG" required for DYS isn't necessarily what one thinks of PG. When I first hopped onto this forum with questions, I was thinking my DS was possibly low HG, but he tested PG in achievement and IQ. He doesn't present like a prodigy or a PG kid, whatsoever. I think as more people get to know about levels of gifted, more kids will be identified in the PG range, but all those kids won't necessarily be the prodigies we read about in newspapers. So, I'm joining Grinity in her belief that you're in denial. when your 1st grader is working 3+ grades ahead, that is not just regular gifted.

And when you say that "matching kid and education is not an unusual problem," I would say that it may not seem unusual on this particular forum, because it leans HG/PG a lot of the time, and it is also full of people who are seeking help with problems. There are HG/PG kids who do just fine in regular classroom settings, and there parents have no need to seek out advice about classroom fit. I say, yes, your situation is an unusual problem.

DS is currently enrolled in full day PreK at a secular K-8 private school with Montessori in a.m. and Spanish Immersion in the afternoon. We chose the school partly because we're considering it for elementary and the PreK kids are automatically admitted to K, otherwise we'd go on the waiting list. We also figured it would be good to give the school a chance to see what he could do and us a chance to see how they'd react before we sent him there for K. We had heard that most of the students are working a bit above grade-level and liked that the school pitched itself as practicing differentiation, although we were skeptical whether they really meant it for someone so advanced. At the prospective visit the admissions liaison told us they don't do grade skips "unless we would have an Einstein or something." LOL

He really likes going to this school but after winter break we've been continually addressing behavior problems, which are now spilling over into home life as well. It's stressful for everyone and I'm eager to find a solution. To the school's credit, they identified him early on (but seriously, how could you not?) and started having the GT coordinator work with him. She set-up some enrichment activities for him in science and math, which are the highlight of his week. His teachers are giving him some more advanced, but likely still not challenging, work especially in reading, but not as much in math. He still comes home with lots of worksheets with number tracing. We are going to meet with the GT coordinator and the principal in the next month or so to talk about options for next year. They're currently giving him a 3rd grade assessment to see where he is in the curriculum. I have no idea whether they'll recommend acceleration and if so, how much. Obviously putting him in 1st is not going to do anything academically, but the slightly more structured day and academic focus might allow better for subject acceleration and I do think he'd do better with kids who are at least 1 year older. My current feeling is that if they say they're going to put him in K and do enrichments or acceleration I would have to really think hard about whether I want to give them money for that. I'm pretty sure I can send him to the public school and get that.

And so, regarding the public school...our public school is supposed to be one of the two best in the city. It's partly why we picked our neighborhood. DH and I went to public schools and had always intended to send our kids as well. When I initially contacted the school and asked generally about their ability to accommodate someone working 2-3 grades above their age they sort of gave me the standard line and told me to check back when it's closer to enrollment. To be honest, I haven't followed up, partly because up until recently it sounded like the private option was going smoothly, partly because the more research I've done the less likely it seems that the public system will be able to do much with a PG kid.

Homeschooling: I know that this or some combination of tutors, online, etc. is probably in our future. The expectation is that when he's 10 or so we can start sending him to AP classes at the magnet HS. I'd like to do a couple of years of elementary school and then figure out how to bridge that gap, but I know even that might not be realistic. My hesitations are: 1) preserving our mother-son relationship if/when our personalities clash as teacher-student. 2) time away from DD1 3) time management in general -- to be frank, DH is not home/helpful much and I already have a lot on my plate. You might notice that socialization is not on my list. I'm fairly certain we can work out ways to see other children (perhaps age-mates, perhaps peers in interests) in other ways. I actually think a lot of his current behavior problems are due to trying to fit in to his class socially when he really doesn't, so I don't think we'd be missing out on any quality there.

Now I've written a novella, but I wanted to mention a couple of other things we're considering. There is a new school about 20 minutes away that is supposed to be more of an independent-learning environment, or similar to a collective homeschool. It is very new, but an acquaintance has enrolled her HG daughter for next year, so I'm hoping to get the scoop. Also looking into their summer program for DS. Another option that's popped into my head recently is just not sending him to school at all next year. Because he's just turned 5 we wouldn't have to send him anywhere or do homeschool compliance until the following year. Holding boys for K until they're 6 is very much the norm here. Might be a good way to try out an un-schooling sort of thing without any pressure.