Some days it is awesome - you can relate on such a level when they are still little. Other days it is a little sad ... makes them seem older and the trick is to remember - they are still little kids ;-) I digress!
When my now 16 yo DD came to us, she was 10. One of the first major issues we encountered was her insane jealousy of DS(then 2). He loved to look at her homework and could figure it out quicker than she could. It drove her crazy! Her education up to that point had been very spotty, 11 schools in 5 years while living on the street most of the time. She thought she was stupid and in her mind, DS proved it to her every day. She didn't have any experience with little kids at the time and didn't realize just how different he was.
We had many conversations about the trade offs. It never occurred to her that while DS was smart, his life came with a whole different set of problems. Making friends, fitting in etc were all brought to the table. "Who will take an 8 year old to prom?" I asked. He will have his BA before his drivers license. All of the things that she had to look forward to in her teen years. I made some headway, but it wasn't until I accepted another foster child in, a 5 yo boy, that she could make comparisons to that she finally started to really get it.
Now at 16, she wouldn't want to trade places with her brother. She once told me that she thought as he got older things would get easier because he wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb. Now that she is that teen, she thinks that it will get harder for him and she is sad that he won't ever get the whole "teen experience". It makes me sad too, but I have to tell myself that his teen years will be great, different but great. He gets to create his own "teen experience"!
